Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
My son is 2.5yrs old and in the last month or so he's started lying about things happening to him. The usual thing is that, during a tantrum, he'll fall on his side or backwards and say "don't push me". Then he'll get up walk towards me and as he touches me he'll again then fall backwards and "say don't push me daddy". This is not a game. He is crying and mid meltdown over something I wont let him do.
This is really concerning for me because this is beyond simply lying, this is like play-acting. I'm sure he'll make an excellent Premier league soccer player one day like this but it's really concerning for me that he thinks this is acceptable behaviour.
Am I right to be concerned? What do I do?
hi,
useful info here: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/babys-development/behaviour/dealing-with-child-behaviour-problems/
Hello Davewills82,
Thank you for sharing. In my experience, at some stage toddlers go through a "play acting" phase, for want of a better phrase, as they are pushing boundaries and learning to express and regulate their emotions. A good tip to ask yourself is:
Are they hungry, tired or thirsty ? at the time of the meltdown and when they begin to "play act". They may be having trouble processing the busy day they have had, or need a sleep, or simply some food and drink.
It also reads to me like your son is looking for a reaction from you and wants your individual attention. You are correct in thinking it is not acceptable behaviour, so let's turn it around and where you can walk away from him and ignore the negative behaviour. Praise the good behaviour - e.g. after his meltdown say well done for calming down and "now I will talk/listen with you, because you are nice and calm. Well done." This reinforces the good behaviour and encourages him to do it again.
Another little suggestion - regular 1-1 with your children is a great way of bonding and increasing respect for each other. This is where you give your little one a no-cost choice of activity to do together for about 20 mins 2-3 times a week if you can, and it is a child-led activity. They may want you to help them build a house for example. During this play time if there is any negative behaviour displayed, you can say to them "daddy will play with you when you stop whining " for example. When they begin playing nicely, praise them and continue.
This behaviour will not last, and the more praise and encouragement they receive, the less negative behaviour you should have.
I hope this makes sense and I wish you are your family well.
Kind Regards, Fegans Parent Support
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.