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I hadnt seen my daughter 24 and son 21 from my first marriage for about 5 years until last year at my mums funeral. We talked then. My son asked to meet me a week ago before he goes away to study. I had a meetup that went well, he had matured a lot. His mum had turned them against me when our marriage broke down. I have remarried and have a six year old daughter. Problem is my wife says my children wont be allowed to see our 6 year old. When my kids were younger my wife felt they didnt show enough interest in her. I told my wife this wasnt fair as they are 24 and 21 now and my ex had brainwashed them against me. They deserve a chance as adults now. But my wife refuses to budge. I am unhappy with this and feel like walking out, but I'm worried I will lose my relationship with our 6 year old. What can I do?
Do you have their mobile numbers or any other contact info? They are old enough to make their own decisions so I would try and reach out to them directly and inform them you want to see them and be part of their lives and you would like them to meet their sister.
I would seriously consider counselling for the whole family to try to reconcile this, certainly your wife seems to be acting unfairly - your children have obviously now got their own minds and want that relationship, and your wife really should recognise that what went on in the past was not your children's doing.
I have their numbers, have been in touch since my mums funeral last august. My daughter living a bit far away now, my son is closer but hes moving overseas to studay in sept for 3 years, thats why i met up with him in my fathers house last thursday, he had grown up a lot. My wife just says she gave my kids a few chances with our daughter and they blew it. I told her they were kids then and their mum was influencing them. Ut she refuses to back down, she wouldnt go to counselling or anything. I feel like walking out, but she insists she will bring up our daughter alone if i dont like this. I spoke to my wifes daughter who said its not fair and she will have a word with her. Dont know what to do.
@bigfra45 it's difficult to advise here as from what you have said, your wife isn't prepared to compromise in any way. It might still be worth looking at counselling for yourself, it might give you strategies for dealing with this. Your wife also needs to realise that should you separate, then a court is extremely likely to allow you to take your 6 year old to see your older children (it's something the courts often encourage in fact), so she wouldn't achieve anything anyway.
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