[Solved] Walking away

Remember your ex wants you to walk away. Just keep telling yourself if you do you are letting your son/daughter down terribly

I may be letting my child down but I don’t know if I can go through much more of it. I do love my child a lot so the situation is bad for me to start to think like this.

Hello R8313,

The emotions we go through are so intense and the worst part about it is that we cannot understand why a mother can act so heartlessly. The feelings of thinking of walking away come into mind because it feels as though the situation is beyond improving but it can improve.

You do not say what your situation is, you may not wish to. If we knew more, I think you would find that on here there would be a lot of support coming your way and knowledge as to how to hopefully improve your situation.

Your in the right place, why not tell us a bit more about your situation.

We have all thought about walking away, we have all experienced sadness, anger, fear, despair.

Your in good company here.

What’s going on ?

Hi R81313

Sorry to hear about what you are going through.

I too was a newbie to this forum but have found it very useful to get advice but to also share what I've gone through and am going through...

Like others have said I too considered walking away, however I realised this was the easy option, it is much harder to fight and stick around.

One piece of advice I've shared on other posts is that when I separated I was issued with a non mol to stay away from my ex and a friend of mine told me to take a step back, take a break and focus on myself. Both physically and mentally like a boxer preparing for a fight (not just with ex but with the courts, but also in how I want to parent kids vs ex, how I deal with society, my friends and family).

I took 6 weeks out, didn't speak to my kids. Went to see GP, got a counsellor, dealt with other conditions. Put a routine in my life, excercise, seeing friends etc. Then revisted trying to deal with my life and kids etc...

I still have a long road ahead. I get video calls and maybe see them once or twice a month but I'm mentally stronger to play the long game and whilst walking away is always an option I'm in a good position to fight and show my ex that no matter what she does (I nearly went to prison) I won't be broken.

Good luck..

Thanks for the kind words everyone. I do have my weak moments in this life. My ex has called child protection on me a couple of times. Accused me of abuse on my child. I was clear of the accusation and child protection found out she was coaching my child to say these things. She has called the cops on me for numerous things. All of them were ridiculous calls but the cops would still call me. I would bicker over text and she would say it’s harassment and call the police. Also I didn’t put his hat on his head one day and the police called me and said that the mother called about neglect. She has documentation saying she has major depression and cannot take care of our child without help. She lives with my family. That cause more stress because that’s supposed to be my family and they help this person who has attacked me so much.
Their is more but I complained enough
So at times I feel like walking away from the situation. I have fought very hard for my child. I eventually got joint custody which I never thought I would get.
I am trying to get full custody now and it doesn’t seem to be going my way.

If you have joint custody, you are doing a whole lot better than most men here. The issues between you, your ex, you family etc are not good for you, or your children’s emotional wellbeing g, so, as Daddyup said, it’s time to focus on your own wellbeing, and put these issues aside. Unless your ex has major mental health or personality issues, you are unlikely to be granted more time with your children, that being said, if she has significant issues, and you truly feel she is incapable of caring for your children, you have no alternative but to get yourself into the strongest possible position and continue your fight.

If your children are with you 50% of the time, walking away really does not make sense and I feel you will regret that decision.

You are not the only one to feel that. Trust me, i have felt like giving up. At times it feels you are fighting a lost cause. I don't know your circumstances or why your ex has stopped you from seeing your kid. But you have to stand up and fight, you will go through all sorts of emotions during the process, but your kid wont want you to give up and the mother will tell them you gave up on them.

I have felt everything was going against me, but now the tide is turning and it is all working in my favour. My ex told me I would never see my kids again and I have never done anything wrong to my children, ever! I went through three hearings, various cafcass interviews having to see my children in a contact centre, all of which was unnecessary.
I should be having my children unsupervised right now, but false accusations by my ex has stopped that. I have enforced the order and the hearing is later this month, but after another cafcass interview, they are on my side and have said they are instructing the court that unsupervised visits start right away. This has been going on since February last year. Just like you, i wanted to give up, i felt they only favoured the mother, but I know my kids love me and miss me and thats what keeps me fighting. Please, do not give up. Everyone on here will offer support and advice, you are not alone in this. Fight for your kid, they will never forget you and they will appreciate you did not just walk away.

i agree with other posters. don't give up and walk away. that's the worst thing you can do to your kids. it's hard work, running around, picking up/dropping kids. but its worth it. hang in there. you will see the day when their older. they will come and see you all by themselves. they will probably visit whenever they feel like it, and their mum won't be able to stop them 🙂

I agree, don't walk away after you have succeeded in getting joint custody. Can you imagine what your ex will tell your kids if you do walk away. They know you are fighting for them now, that will count for a lot, if not now, then later on.

Thank you all for the advice and support. It was a tough moment to deal with. I will stay strong and keep working on myself because it’s great for me and my child