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Hi, I just wanted to come back here. Just to update and at least if I can impart any feed back it may help others. If you look up my last posts you probably get a sense of what I went through. It turns out after bashing my head against a wall and at the same time going through several bereavements. Contact was made by her ex partner. He managed to get my details via social services although I'm still not sure how he did this due to confidentiality even he said him self regarding his ex....I can't tell you what's in place but some how has my details . Very strange getting a phone call in the evening first it was a strange text Saying someone was trying to contact me through a payment service why do this if you have my number anyhow?. This all happened many months after I made contact with social services. The strange thing about is they were all working for the NHS as nurses. I'm not sure if the [censored] hit the fan and they sent him on to speak to me to cool things off just many questions regarding why? It just seemed odd the way it came about he was telling me how we should meet up and how it would be helpful for us both as he gone to [censored] and back with her and her family. I don't doubt that because I experienced the exact same. He agree his ex has a personality problems and she was a narcasist and alcoholic she caused a lot of problems and damage to him and his children. So I'm thinking why would he try and help them out with what they done to his life he did say he wanted to help his ex I thought after all she's put you through. His ex and her family turned his life upside down and caused him a lot of emotional damage. He did say he felt bad for me being dragged into a terrible situation and that she did exactly the same to him. Traped him to and he felt guilt for walking away and leaving his children in a desperate situation. There's only so much you can do then you have to walk away. His ex and her family try to do the same to me vilifying me. They tried to crush me. All they were thinking about was holding on to there jobs as NHS mental health workers ....what a terrible irony. So after talking to her ex something just seemed odd I've got that sense that something don't quite add up. Maybe I'm being kept out the way seemed odd after he went cold and closed off communication with me.
He may have just wanted to try and live with out the constant reminders of his past traumatic experiences. It was strange how the contact was made and abruptly ended.
his ex had deep route problems from trauma and disorganised attachment.
She told me she likes to hurt people so it gives her some kind of gratification when they walk away. Just a very bad experience. Also she alianate people to her children a very strange and damaging experience for the children she was the mirror image of her mother also an alcoholic.
Thanks for reading
Zdad
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