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Hi all , just to update I applied for a child arrangement order and the first hearing is due on the 2nd September .
I filled in and sent off the initial application , and my ex took this opportunity to write a 10 page document about what a terrible dad I am as her response and how much the kids hate me slinging mud which I assume is very usual in this situation , she then decided to hand deliver the response so I’ve seen it all . Ive had my call with the person from cafcass that I think went relatively well.
couple of questions , do I get the chance to respond to her accusations ? She has made a lot of accusations about 3rd parties that are very untrue , would it look good if I got the third parties to respond in my favour ?
lastly my intention is just to iterate that I think having the kids 50/50 is in the kids best interest and not go back on each point , or would it be best to pick her document apart ?
any advise of what I should do from here? And what the likely next steps are , thanks again guys
@hopefuldad Hi, I would suggest to avoid getting bogged down with her allegations. I doubt the court will have time to go through her 10 pages of mud slinging. you should only answer to allegations if court/cafcass ask you about any of them. cafcass plays a crucial role. what they recommend will be the deciding factor in what kind of arrangements you will get. Let us know how your hearing goes. Would advice to be calm and reasonable and only talk about your kids and what would be best for them.
@bill337 thank you, the first court hearing doesnt require me attending from what i understand but they will set a date for a 2nd one which I will need to be at .
Thanks again for your help.
ok, have cafcass sent you their safeguarding letter after you had phone call? there is high chance court will ask cafcass to do a welfare report - section 7. can read up on it here: https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/divorce-and-separation/what-to-expect-from-cafcass/section-7-report/
I recommend you complete their parenting plan and mention it to them: https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/divorce-and-separation/parenting-together/parenting-plan/
be careful with cafcass is my advice, You may just keep it child focussed but they wont be interested about all that. they are more interested in knowing about hostility between you and ex and allegations made. in my section 7 they ignored nearly all comments i did about keeping it child focussed and changed the conversation to allegations every chance they could. your best bet is not to play into any of it , and say i dont know why she is saying that, nothing is proven, etc.
you say you had a equity split of the house at one point 77/23, how did you come to that arrangement was it between yourselves or made via a judge?
Morning it was made via our solicitors not by a judge .
My Ex has decided to push through with the new child care arrangement which reduces my time with the kids from 5 nights a fortnight to 2 nights a fortnight. I used to have them Friday -Wednesday. She is now saying I have to return the kids on Sunday night.
my question is , why does she get to decide that ? Does it look bad if I don’t return them and continue with the previous child arrangement or should I for the sake of the children concede and return the children on Sunday night and wait for the result of the child arrangement order ?
@hopefuldad shes most likely reducing contact as she knows its increases her financial gain ie child mainternance in particular. the less overnights you have them the more she will get paid. sounds like she is working out what will give her a better financial outcome and will play you accordingly.
your best bet is to go through the courts and get things signed off, then she cant play no more games and has to stick to order.
if you dont return kids, it can look bad and probably hurt the kids as they will sense what is going on. she could then later stop you having the little access you have now.
also keep documentation you have to show what your doing with the kids, how often you have them and what you do for them. will come in handy later.
her solicitor must be advising her what to do, so shes learning new tricks.
If the court order says you have the kids from Friday to Wednesday, she can't make you bring them back on Sunday without changing the court order.
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