Threats of reducing contact

@hopefuldad Hi, I would suggest to avoid getting bogged down with her allegations. I doubt the court will have time to go through her 10 pages of mud slinging. you should only answer to allegations if court/cafcass ask you about any of them. cafcass plays a crucial role. what they recommend will be the deciding factor in what kind of arrangements you will get. Let us know how your hearing goes. Would advice to be calm and reasonable and only talk about your kids and what would be best for them.

@bill337 thank you, the first court hearing doesnt require me attending from what i understand but they will set a date for a 2nd one which I will need to be at . 

Thanks again for your help. 

ok, have cafcass sent you their safeguarding letter after you had phone call? there is high chance court will ask cafcass to do a welfare report - section 7. can read up on it here: https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/divorce-and-separation/what-to-expect-from-cafcass/section-7-report/

I recommend you complete their parenting plan and mention it to them: https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/divorce-and-separation/parenting-together/parenting-plan/

be careful with cafcass is my advice, You may just keep it child focussed but they wont be interested about all that.  they are more interested in knowing about hostility between you and ex and allegations made.  in my section 7 they ignored nearly all comments i did about keeping it child focussed and changed the conversation to allegations every chance they could.   your best bet is not to play into any of it , and say i dont know why she is saying that, nothing is proven, etc.

you say you had a equity split of the house at one point 77/23, how did you come to that arrangement was it between yourselves or made via a judge?

Morning it was made via our solicitors not by a judge .

My Ex has decided to push through with the new child care arrangement which reduces my time with the kids from 5 nights a fortnight to 2 nights a fortnight. I used to have them Friday -Wednesday. She is now saying I have to return the kids on Sunday night. 

my question is , why does she get to decide that ? Does it look bad if I don’t return them and continue with the previous child arrangement or should I for the sake of the children concede and return the children on Sunday night and wait for the result of the child arrangement order ? 

@hopefuldad shes most likely reducing contact as she knows its increases her financial gain ie child mainternance in particular.  the less overnights you have them the more she will get paid.   sounds like she is working out what will give her a better financial outcome and will play you accordingly.

your best bet is to go through the courts and get things signed off, then she cant play no more games and has to stick to order.

if you dont return kids, it can look bad and probably hurt the kids as they will sense what is going on.  she could then later stop you having the little access you have now.    

also keep documentation you have to show what your doing with the kids, how often you have them and what you do for them.  will come in handy later.

her solicitor must be advising her what to do, so shes learning new tricks.

If the court order says you have the kids from Friday to Wednesday, she can't make you bring them back on Sunday without changing the court order.

Hey all, i got my court date through for the next hearing 22 of Feb, is there anything you can do to move that forward? thanks

@hopefuldad Hi, I think that will be very difficult. you would have to keep checking with court, and asking if theres an earlier date. if there is one, they will ask your ex does she agree to attend the earlier date.

@hopefuldad hey, I cant really help with any of you concerns but i was wondering if you could help me at all.

I was just wondering when you applied for court how long it took you to hear back, my brothers being denied all access and mother is now ignoring messages, been an on going battle. We applied for court on the 10th after the MIAM meeting so just wondered what the time scale was to hear regarding first hearing?

He has been refused to be put on the birth certificate since birth daughter in question is now 2.5 years old, been constantly told he needs to proof himself as a dad to gain that right although they've been in the relationship the whole time on & off for 4 years and he had his daughter alone every other weekend. I makes me feel better about the situation knowing he isnt alone in fighting this battle & makes me feel sick how women can use their child as weapons.

I really appreciate your help, Im hoping we can just get some help.

@hopefuldad hey, I cant really help with any of you concerns but i was wondering if you could help me at all.

I was just wondering when you applied for court how long it took you to hear back, my brothers being denied all access and mother is now ignoring messages, been an on going battle. We applied for court on the 10th after the MIAM meeting so just wondered what the time scale was to hear regarding first hearing?

He has been refused to be put on the birth certificate since birth daughter in question is now 2.5 years old, been constantly told he needs to proof himself as a dad to gain that right although they've been in the relationship the whole time on & off for 4 years and he had his daughter alone every other weekend. I makes me feel better about the situation knowing he isnt alone in fighting this battle & makes me feel sick how women can use their child as weapons.

I really appreciate your help, Im hoping we can just get some help.

@concernedsister1 Hey , So i started the process early-Mid July, I was given an original hearing date ( which noone attends) for September the 2nd, and a follow court date ( which we do attend) for Feb 22. From there i have no idea. 

Honestly in my head im expecting it to be at least 12 months from when i decided to go through the courts to when there will be a resolution.

Hope that helps