[Solved] Telling kids about new relationship

hi,

you could bring up the subject the next time you take your kids out. could start along the lines with "I would like you to meet my new friend, I think you will really like her..." and take things from there.

Have they got over and acceoted that you and ex are definatly never getting back together i think thats a realisation first before anything else can be seen or accepted with a clear view.

I don't think there's a tried and tested formula for these type of discussions with our kids but in my experience I would say that its better to mention it a few times and ask if they have any questions and explain that they will get to meet her at some point. If you're on good terms with your ex, it might be an idea to let her know that you're going to tell them so that she can support them with these changes too. I would try to avoid asking them if they want to meet the new partner straight away and perhaps tell them they will meet her at some point. If you ask them to make that decision, it can put a lot of emotional responsibility on to the children. Obviously if they say they don't want to, you will have to deal with that as it arises. Small steps. Good luck.

I would also suggest not asking if they are ok with you having a new partner as well..

Baby steps seems to be the way to go, mention your new partner and see what reactioj you get without talking to much about her. If you get positive engagement then you can move on to talking about her more.. of it is neutral then you may need to bring her up in conversation more until the response is a bit more positive (what is she like, when can we meet her, have you seen her again, what has she been upto etc), if the response is negative then take it slower and as someone else has said you may need to do some work first around their acceptance of parents relationship being over..

My kids met my last wife (ie new partner at the time) at a relaxed outside cafe/runaround - this meant that my self and my partner could sit at a table and the kids could run around and join us when they wanted, but weren't compelled to sit there, so they had control of their own situation. Worked extremely well.

I would echo the great advice on here, take it slowly, introduce the subject, and also give your ex a heads up too. Children are adaptable and I think it is great that you are thinking about them and their needs first, when you are talking to them, remind them of this - that they are your priority and that you love them so much and I am sure the rest will follow. Also give them choices, ie, 'would you like to meet...?' rather than 'I want you to meet...' will probably go down better!

Hello Matt98, I would echo January's advice too, and I can say from personal family experience that going into a new relationship situation with children of any age (in our case they were adults with a very unexpected second marriage after bereavement) that too much was put on them too soon. There was not time for my family members to think, let alone get used to the idea. One step at a time, a neutral meeting place, and perhaps a sit down quiet time with your children about your new situation. January is right, kids are more adaptable than you think, adults on the other hand can be more unpredictable! Wishing you all the best,
Fegans Parent Support Volunteer.

hmm.. interesting question, my friend had same situation like u.

In general, in my time 10 years ago, when I was still a teenager, I realized that there is a lot of useful information on the Internet that can help. And not long ago I broke up with my girlfriend and was depressed, but then my best friend helped me and told me to read the article on this site https://breakupangels.com/you-have-ask-yourself-you-break/ . And I felt much better, I began to look at relationships in a completely different way, and I think that I will not be so worried the next time.

Yea same been 16 months and the ideal scenario would be if she found someone else. Especially in general for fathers as they would get the kids as that would prevent any neglect on the kids.....