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[Solved] Supervised Contact

 
 Mich
(@mich)
Trusted Member Registered

Hi 11 months after a CAO was put in initial contact was granted , but supervised until a further review after courses have been completed . The person supervising has said due to personal circumstances She is no longer able to do it . So how do I carry on seeing my son now . The maternal grandma was doing the contact visits which were going really well , although I had their rules to abide by . 1 I am not allowed to be called dad and my son has to know me by my first name . 2 I wasn't allowed to get a son birthday or Christmas card . 3 My family were not allowed to give gifts for Christmas or his Birthday . My mum drops me off for contact but has to drop me off where my son cannot see her . My last contact landed on his birthday but I was not allowed to see him and had to arrange another time , even though it is only two hour visits . I am abiding by all their rules , but how can I have contact if the mother only let her mum do the supervised visits .

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Topic starter Posted : 08/01/2021 5:37 pm
(@Ferfer)
Reputable Member Registered

If there is a child arrangement order in place, they will have to find an alternative, if it has to be at the ex's mums house then so be it. Otherwise there is potential of a breach of the order.

If you don't mind me asking, why on earth can he not call you dad? That is the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard and is a horrible thing to suggest.

Who do you contact about the arrangements, get in touch with them and ask or call er solicitor if she has one.

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Posted : 08/01/2021 6:10 pm
(@dadmod2)
Illustrious Member

I hope your documenting those weird/controlling rules to present at your future hearing.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 08/01/2021 7:13 pm
 Mich
(@mich)
Trusted Member Registered

It's a total control thing . Her mum who does the supervising contacts me on a Friday with the arrangements for the Sunday contact . We have no contact whatsoever long story of abuse against me , but the system is not a fair one . We can't have contact at her mums as she lives there . In court I had asked for my mum to do the contact visits once I had established the bond with my son after not seeing him for 11 months . My mum worked for 30 years in the nhs care sector and worked alongside children's safe guarding . Totally clean dbs etc , but my ex told the court my mum was an alcoho!ic and drug addict who encouraged her chi!dren to take drugs with her . As I had spoken first in court I couldn't even stand back up and defend it . Social services were involved due to my exes drinking and she has to live at home with her parents and can't take my son out on her own . They are no longer invo!ved and did not assess anyone other than her mum to do the contacts . Will I have to go through the whole court process again as noonelse was named in the order to supervise contact.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 08/01/2021 7:20 pm
(@warwickshire1)
Prominent Member Registered

I would be going straight back to family court. Highlight she has alcohol issues and you believe this is causing her behaviors to be unreasonable. Not promoting contact, not allowing to see son on his birthday and demanding you are called by your 1st name just to mention a few. It needs to go to court as supervised visits need to become unsupervised and contact needs to be increased. I think you would be best at some point being represented by someone so they can get you the results u need

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Posted : 08/01/2021 7:39 pm
 Mich
(@mich)
Trusted Member Registered

Grandma has informed me that the grandad who my son lives with along with his grandma and mum is classed as extremely vulnerable and shielding . This is their reason I can see him on Sunday as long as I stay 2 metres apart and that will be it until end of February when they will relook at the situation . If these are the rules I understand but his mum is a carer in the community and goes to work and goes home to him everyday . If I am a risk , why isn't she .

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Topic starter Posted : 08/01/2021 11:25 pm
(@warwickshire1)
Prominent Member Registered

What you do is proceed with putting in court application and dont tell them. 5-6 weeks you will get a hearing so you can put a stop to all their nonsense. They will know as well when they get notification that you are going back to court.

In meantime accept their ridiculous offer as its only way you are able to maintain relationship with your child. You can tell courts later you only done it as you was thinking of your child and that he needs to see his father and a small amount of contact is better than nothing at all..

If you dont go back to court this will continue for a very long time and it isnt fair as this covid 19 situation wont be ending anytime soon

ReplyQuote
Posted : 08/01/2021 11:46 pm
(@Daddyup)
Prominent Member Registered

Hi,

I totally agree re going back to court. However, if you haven't already, try to get the ridiculous set of controlling rules in writing via email or text message so that you can use as evidence otherwise its ur word against theirs. Dont let on why you are asking for it in writing but it will highlight the crazy situation you find yourself in.

All the best though..

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Posted : 09/01/2021 12:10 am
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