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I've got not idea how to string all of my posts together so I'm starting a new one (again) so I apologise.
Had an emergency hearing, I had submitted a statement along with my c100, so the court ordered a response statemebt to be made from my ex before our first directions hearing in a couple months.
She replied to all my points with alot of "I deny this" along with explanations as to why. But all these are wrong and I have evidence to support that what she said is wrong, from wrong dates to completely inaccurate information.
Do you think I should start gathering this information and evidence? I'm self representing.
I actually think it was abit unfair for it to be a response to my statement as if she had just made a statement off her own back, it wouldn't consist of immature mud slinging rather than anything important but now she has responded to everything I have said and I'm concerned the judge will take her statement over mine.
At the top of her statement she also made some accusations of her own, none of which are to do with the children or their safety, accusations of benefit fraud, accusations about my current partner and her daughters father being alienated etc. All of which doesn't actually have anything to do with the application made.
So will the judge pay any attention to these things that she has mentioned as its nothing to do with the children and its also untrue?
She has had the opportunity to reply to my statement instead of just making an initial statement herself and now all I want to do is defend myself and correct her.
This is alot more stressful than initially anticipated.
The court process can be very stressful as the outcome is in someone else's hands. It would be helpful for you to gather your information and evidence so its not left until the last minute. You can also deny the allegations she has made, with evidence if you have it. You may find it helpful to write out what you want to say in court so nothing is forgotten.
As champagne says, prepare well in advance - not only does it keep you mind busy (so less time to worry), but it gives you time to think after you've finished whether there's anything you've forgotten.
Prepare well organised notes, use index cards and mark any important pages with post-it note labels so you can find anything quickly in court if you need it. Also have a page of bullet points of things you want to cover as a reminder to yourself in court so you don't forget anything, with the most important points at the top, and don't worry about anything of little consequence to the outcome, however annoying you may find it , think about what you want to achieve at the end, not about scoring points.
I would ignore the stuff she mentioned about benefit fraud etc. thats not relevant to a child's arrangement order. If she has made allegations about you concerning your children, then you can focus on those. often the court gives a limit to how many pages you can write, so you may find that you won't be able to answer to every single allegation. have to focus on the matters that involve the children.
Thanks for all your advice and reassurance guys. I've already started the process of gathering my evidence now.
Do you think it would be okay to include supporting statements from professionals? Or should I wait until the judge orders this
How old is your child? The main idea is to get a great contact order rather than getting involved in focusing on attacking each other.
What are you gathering evidence for. you only gather evidence when you are required to defend yourself , certainly not to disprove non child matters or false allegations your ex is making unless courts order you to
It is helpful to have all your evidence ready to go when you need it, so there's no harm in preparing.
You said you submitted a C100 and had an emergency hearing? If the statement you submitted was fairly comprehensive, then it is usual for a court to ask the other party to respond before the first proper hearing.
You can prepare a short position statement (stick to a couple of pages) for the next hearing but don't attach any evidence if the court have not asked for it as you don't have permission to do so.
You can refer in brief to anything in her statement or any evidence you might have and if things are not showing signs of being resolved at this first hearing, you can ask the court for permission to submit evidence you think is relevant.
Always worth having your evidence in a folder with you at the hearing on the off chance the court ask to see something you refer to in person or on paper.
I'm new to this. I have an interim court order stating the children live with me until the next court ruling. She is asking for 50/50. Nothing I have included in my statement is false or petty or point scoring, its all about the concerns I have and reasons for having them as well as me stating I think it's in the children's best interests to live with me permenantly and see their mother on set days
I didn't know if I would need evidence further down the line to coinside with the things I have said as her response to my statement is replies to allegations and reasonings which are almost all untrue and I can prove this. On top of that she has included petty remarks and comments that are all unrelated to the children or child arrangements order. I was planning on ignoring these and focusing on the things that effect the children.
For example me putting something in my statement about how she has had long periods of not seeing the children, in her reply she gave a reason for this and I have the evidence to actually disprove her reasoning.
I wouldn't submit evidence to a court without their permission, but I didn't know at which point I should start putting it together or even mention the fact that her statement is full of false information.
I think it's a good idea to include some relelvent points in my position statement for the next hearing.
And the evidence from professionals that I was referring to is to do with school. She claims they never contacted her and didn't keep her informed about the child.
But they have an online learning journal which I believe is common practice in this day and age and all of their notifications where posted on there as well as allowing parents to also write on there, which we both did. The school also invited her in and she declined.
My reason for asking about gathering some sort of statement from them is that my children are no longer at the school (finished in July) so I didn't want to leave it until 2021 where by things may have been forgotten or staff members to have come and gone etc
so for your next hearing, have court asked you to prepare any documents?
No, they've not asked for anything, I just didn't know if I should be prepared.
Does anyone know if it's possible to come out with the other party having signed an undertaking or is that not the norm?
you should write a position statement of 2 pages, outlining concerns and what contact arrangement your seeking for children.
more info here: https://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/writing-a-position-statement/
I'm not sure about signing undertaking with other part outside courts. but courts do encourage both parties to try to reach agreements before sitting in front of the judges,