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I am currently in the court process after my children's mum stopped access in Summer 2019 claiming that contact was causing the children mental and anxiety issues.
The court awarded interim access in Spring 2020 but in Autumn 2020, my children's mum again stopped access stating that our children didn't want to see me and access was causing anxiety for them. The court awarded video contact every couple of weeks which we have been doing.
Social Services become involved with a children in need assessment and CAFCASS need to do a s.7 addendum report.
The initial feedback from Social Services isn't great and my children, who are 6 and 9, have reportedly said to social services that they don't want video contact with me and their mum has told Social Services that the children are showing anxiety and upset before and after they talk to me. It seems like the SS report will be for contact not to continue but they say that there are no safeguarding issues with me. People keep saying that the court doesn't take a major consideration of the children's opinion until they are older, around 11 or so.
I have the CAFCASS meeting coming up soon too.
My concerns are that over the last 2 years, the disagreements we (Partner and I) have had with mum over her attempts to control what we do and how we parent has led to the children seeing conflict. During this period, the children have also said things such as "Mum says you don't give her enough money" and similar worrying comments.
I am self representing and a bit lost now on what I can do? I feel that even though I have started the Court process to obtain contact, I am being made out to be an evil, aggressive and poor father. That isn't the case but the authorities seem to believe everything that mum claims.
Can anybody help or provide some advice please?
hi,
for your Cafcass interview I would advise to stay as child-focused as possible. it's terrible that the kids are being told that your not giving their mum enough money. By all means report these concerns to cafcass, as negative comments should not be passed onto kids. They should not be witnessing any conflict between parents.
I recommend you complete the cafcass parenting plan and mention it during your interview: https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/divorce-and-separation/parenting-plan/
it is very helpful and also shows that your being child-focused. In interview ask for as much contact as possible, such as children to stay overnight with you on weekends, mid-week if possible. as well as having half of school holidays with kids. Cafcass will expect you to answer to some allegations from your ex. Just remain calm and answer them truthfully.
@bill337 Thanks Bill. I spoke with CAFCASS truthfully and honestly, explaining what has actually happened and been said. The CAFCASS Officer has suggested thst the case has gone on far to long and that my children have said some strange things to her, which the children havent been to evidence e.g. Daddy makes mummy scared and cry.
In my last video call, one child accused me of emotionally blackmailing them. That child is 9......
I am hoping that I get some contact again, even by a contact centre. My ex wife is going to be against this and is throwing all sorts of allegations which are not true and the authorities seem to believe her without any evidence. Very disappointing.
You will have to see what s7 report recommends , but likely you will end up in contact center . I would make it clear that mum is not encouraging contact and causing them to be anxious and pick up on the fact their mum doesnt like you which you believe is making them not want to see you.
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