Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hello all,
I'm looking for any advice on shared custody. At the moment, my son stays with me Thursday, Friday and Saturday, although due to his mother frequently going away, over the course of a year it works out as more like 50% of the time.
It bothers me that I still have to pay child maintenance, as he officially resides with his mother. I have read about shared custody, but it's very confusing. His mother insists that there is no such thing, legally. Is this true? If not, how do I go about arranging it?
Many thanks for any help. Best wishes to all.
hi,
there is such thing as 50/50 shared custody. but with a difficult/hostile ex, it is very hard to achieve. usually involves spending lots of money and going to court. there's no guarantee that you will get it.
if you have equal day to day care of child, then your not supposed to be paying any child maintenance.
or before it gets to court, you can try mediation with ex. and if possible, can draw up agreement without going to court. if mediation breaks down, then it would have to go court.
As far as I am aware, if it is 50/50 then you should not pay anything. Try and keep a record of each time they stay with you. Have you tried discussing with your ex about lowering how much you pay. It is not really fair if she asks you to look after them more and expect you to keep paying the same.
I am afraid no matter what happens you will end up paying child maintenance. theres no way an ex is going to agree to 50/50 and not get child maintenance. only way you wouldnt have to pay if it was 50/50 but it has to be overnight stays that have to be the same as your ex partner . you would have to have a court order also stating this to send to child maintenance
Even without shared custody, for every multiple of 52 days per year that you child stays overnight with you, there should be a 1/7th reduction in maintenance (through CMS) - the problem is proving to CMS that is the case - keep records of all overnight stays (might be worth taking a photo each time with date stamp on it) and see if you can get a reduction.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.