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Is a shared care arrangement always 50/50 or am I getting my hopes up.
Morning Chrrriisss - trust you're doing well.
Unfortunately, the term shared care does not always refer to an equal split of staying (overnight) contact in a 50/50 fashion.
Whilst courts start from the view that it is in the child(rens) best interest to have active involvement of both parents wherever it is safe to do so, there tends to be a focus on stability and normality in the young ones lives that causes minimal disruption and reduces the risk of conflict. This often means trying to focus on the child having a 'primary' home.
That being said, there are more and more examples of dads getting their fair amount of time (I am a working example of this having progressed from 1-2 nights a week to a full 50/50 shared care arrangement).
My 2 pennies, both in Court and with CAFCASS/Social Services keep your focus on why 50/50 is actually beneficial for the child and do your best to not make it about what is good for you.
Some points to highlight when you can (and assuming you can commit to the following) that were useful in my own circumstance:
1. How you will be able to adjust your work commitments around the suggested schedule?
2. How travel arrangements will work (i.e. handovers from school remove a large portion of separated parents having to interact especially where there communication issues - an added benefit is both parents can have an active involvement with the education setting)?
3. If the child(ren) will benefit from any extracurricular activity, is this something you can both agree and commit to as parents? In my own case, a schedule of 2-2-5-5 meant that each parent gets a weekend but can also plan activity on set days (i.e. I always have my daughter on Wed and Thur night so can pick activities that fall on those days).
This is not an exhaustive list, just a guide of some things to think about.
Ultimately, the courts will make the final decision and my experience is that their starting point is finding reasons to give dads extra time, rather than reasons to take time away from a 50/50 beginning - it is sad, and in my humble opinion, wholly unfair but it is what it is. Just keep that focus on all the positives that a 50/50 arrangement can bring and don't be too disheartened if this isn't what you end up with.
CD.