Residency

Yes, it does happen (I managed it about 15 years ago), and the well publicised case of Rebbeca Minnock 3 or 4 years back, but there has to be a very compelling reason to do so.

@actd any idea on what would do so? Do unreliability and inconsistency hold any weight? What about basic needs, such as shoes and finances?

@actd any idea on what would do so? Do unreliability and inconsistency hold any weight? What about basic needs, such as shoes and finances?

Hi,

dads find it very difficult to gain 50/50 arrangement. Residency is even harder. there would need to be serious reasons for change of residency. like a parent has serious issues with drink, drugs. neglect of children. not meeting their needs. missing a lot of school etc. What I have heard lately is courts consider change of residency if child is suffering emotional abuse, like court order is breached multiple times and child is prevented from having relationship with dad

@justlookingforjustice

I agree with Bill. In my case, there was serious neglect, and potential abuse to the extent that when my daughter rang me to tell me, I told her to ring the police (she was 12) and not let them leave until I arrived - I was a 3 hour drive away. The police arrived to find the house in an appalling state, with the mother drunk - they awoke her and persuaded her to let them take away both my daughters to the police station awaiting my arrival. After that, the police report was damning (and social services, who had no idea about the case until that point) agreed that they must not return, and my ex realised how futile it was to try to fight it, especially as I (with a lot of help from my wife) got them into new schools within 2 days, had temporary sleeping arrangements with privacy sorted immediately, and had planning underway for an extension within 2 weeks, so by the time Cafcass came to visit, they could see no reason at all not to recommend that they stayed with us. 

Yes, kids mum would normally need to do a lot of things wrong with serious safeguarding risks involved. Even in actd case thing may of been different if his daughter done a complete U-TURN and wanted to be with her mum and was adamant about it. This may of led to residency remaining with mum. She was 12 and actd acted fast with daughters best interests at heart securing residency. 

Is there any way to prove emotional abuse? because without giving away too much information on the case, he will continue to and is experiencing this.

@justlookingforjustice

Hello - keep observing your child as much as you can when you are able to spend time with them. Observe how they hold conversations with you, do they seem nervous and/or distracted? Are they anxious about leaving you? Are there any extremes in behaviour you have experienced with them? I would make sure you record your observations in the form of a written diary for example, and tell the appropriate people of your concerns. Keep reassuring your child that when they are with you they are in a safe space, encourage 1-1 time with them and let them lead an activity that they would like to do. In doing this, hopefully if they are feeling safe and comfortable then they may open up and offer some information of how life is when they are not with you. Remember to never promise to keep things a secret, no matter how hard it maybe. Just keep encouraging, praising and telling your child how much they are loved. 

I hope you are able to progress with this situation, 

Kind Regards, 

Fegans PSV