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Hi guys, so Im about 4 months on seperation from my ex. Joint agreement to break up, we have two children together.
it was going pretty amicable to begin with. Until I’ve received a letter from her solicitor.
So I enjoy having the kids, it’s nothing about that. It’s her I don’t enjoy😂 she’s basically made my life [censored]. I pay above the CSA calculation as I have the 164 days of the year, 2 nights a week and every second weekend Friday to Sunday. So she’s just had a go at me because I’m asking if I can return the kids at the same time she’s dropped them off? Am I in the right for this? She’s told me to write it in my solicitor letter which I will be. But is this the normal?
ive just found this forum and it looks to be quite handy.
How are folk doing clothes? I buy all the boys clothes for when they are here, I often return them with my clothes. But then when I get the clothes back they are shrunk? Surely this isn’t okay.
Same with shoes, I bought all the shoes pre breakup. But now I’ve bought the eldest another pair strictly for nursery.. and he’s now being sent to me with them on? So I’ve just went and bought another pair of good shoes for when he’s with me again.
Is this how dads get treated? I’ve already got her coming for half of everything I own. I’m willing to battle but it’s the little things what are making it hard.
Over the past 4 months I’ve probably spent £300 on clothes including hats and gloves.. whilst still paying childmaintence at a higher rate than im suppose to. But im still getting grief for anything I do?
is everyone else treated the same as me?
hi,
did anyone apply for a child arrangements order? or is it just solicitor negotiation at moment?
with me, I buy kids their own set of clothes, and prefer to keep them here, otherwise I will just end up buying more to replace them.
what day and time did you propose to drop the kids? one way to avoid such dispute is to drop kids to school on a Monday morning. are you able to do that?
@dadmod2 not yet! We were doing it mutually but now she’s gotten the solicitors in on it so I think it’s all going to go by the book as that seems to be the easiest way since I have to pay for them now.
I drop them both off to childminders and collect them the days; they aren’t at the school times yet. So it’s not bad that day’s but if I’m looking after the eldest she chooses when to come get him as the youngest is at her mums. Then it’s the weekend which is the most annoying part of it. As you will probably be the same, don’t have a lot of free time as it is. Whilst renovating a house and still trying to work😂
Is it too late to try to agree everything through a mediator instead of solicitors? That would be quicker and cheaper and hopefully avoid court action. You can find one on the Family Mediation Council website. There are also some guides on the advicenow.org.uk website relating to divorce and child arrnagements. The child maintenance payments depend on how much time the children stay with you. It might be easier to keep the clothes and shoes you buy at your place and send the children back in the clothes they came in. Is she aware you pay more maintenance than required? If so, perhaps you could explain that you need to reduce it to pay for a solicitor? A bit provocative and it may not be worth it depending on the amount. Cafcass have a parenting agreement on their website so you might adapt that to suit you both. Another possibility is using something like AppClose for communicating about the children.
I relate to this in a very different way. Was forced out of the home the mother of my child and I share early last month. It was done in a coercive, vindictive, and abusive way. Lots of threats. I won't get into it further. Will become a legal matter.
Anyway, I temporarily relocated to a different state; specifically where I have a support network. The mother and my daughter live in another state. About an 8 hour drive. Omitting details on purpose.
I've been blocked out of my daughter's life. Occasionally get a FaceTime. I initiate everything.
Figured I'd share a little of my experience, which has gone on for about 6 weeks now. I have tried initiating mediation and a parenting plan, but to no avail.
My best advice would be to pay close attention to what the courts want to see, and to not wait on preserving and protecting your rights. Go see your child, or at least try, as often as you can. If the mother wants to make it difficult, she needs legal reasoning for it. She otherwise looks bad to the courts.
Focus on you and doing the right thing. A lot you can't control, but you can control focusing on your child, and trying to initiate things like co-parenting apps for the benefit of the child.
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