[Solved] Newbie

It seems like to me police will NFA the latest incident eventually and probably waiting to see if you do anything else you potentially shouldn't be doing.
I would of thought non molestation wont be extended but you want to get the message very clear to any professional you was frustrated in ex acting out of malice intentionally/ deliberately allowing you to drive for over 2 hours to then have contact maliciously cancelled. I am sure you wont be making that mistake again and its very hard but you must never react to anything ex does ever as you just get screwed over by the system

Sorry to hear your troubles. COVID has messed everything up, I am sure you would have got a court date sooner had the virus not kicked off.

Have you attempted mediation at all? You are doing the right thing for your kids, this is going to be an emotional and upsetting time for all of you, but you will get there in the end.
If she is refusing a contact centre, then that is not fair, she really should allow this as it is safe for the kids and her. The court will see you have offered all sorts of options and they have been refused, they will see she is being unreasonable.
Just refrain from contacting your ex in any way, stay child focused. As my dad has always said to me during my experience, "Short term pain for long term gain" Sooner or later you will see your kids again, and they will appreciate how much you fought for them. You are their dad, they will never forget that. I did not see my two girls at all for nearly 8 months, when i first saw them, it was like I had never been away, they were so happy to see me and they still are .

It sucks right now, but it will get better soon. Good luck with it all and feel free to keep us updated or ask any questions, you will get some good advice on here.

Hey Warwickshire.
Seems a bit off police haven't done anything ever since. I wish they just got it over and done with so I no where I stand. Sticking to my guns and havent been doing anything else. Emailing mum and her solicitor is as far as it gets this days, with little luck of course.
They dont care they just keep telling me they understand its difficult time for us but an order is an order.
I thought they can only investigate any incident separately, this was confirmed by solicitor who dealt with arresting officer. Found it difficult at start to kick the emotions but the only way forward for us dad is computerized replies to anything they throw at us.

Thanks Ferfer, I understand this covid messed everything up but to wait nearly 4 months is unheard of. Keep in mind this is first contact with the courts so likely any no contact would be made so more damage being doing to my relationship with them. Question is, could I be patient for that long knowing summer holidays I wont be involved etc. its heart breaking.

Yes attempted mediation, decline by ex after intial meeting so that never went anywhere.
Yes i was surprised she even declined that option, for me thats like starting backwards but moving in the right direction. No one would like supervised contact but I didn't mind as long as I had time with my boys. I thought this would cover any concerns she might have. She knows what shes doing, she nows her action will effect me and from this im sadly proven shes not being child focussed.
Thats bought a tear to my heart, I always worry that theyll forget me or youngest wont remember who I am, i look forward to the day I can just give them cuddles and kisses etc Missing them is not even the word. Ive promised myself no more wearing heart on sleeve. No more contact with her not children related. To keep busy and to keep focused.

I appreciate it and good luck to you too mate. Our days are approaching

hi shoo14,

sorry to hear you been going through a tough time. when my breakup happened, i was very annoyed and sad at the prospect of not spending the whole summer with the kids. ex would let me see kids every saturday for day. refused overnights. so i didn't hang around and took it to court.

lockdown is the worst time to make court applications, but I see you have no choice. i made application in december last year, and got first hearing end of Jan 2020. hopefully your non-mol will not get extended. don't give them any reason to extend. it's common where non-mol's are used to keep dad away from kids. courts are noticing that more.

you have been reasonable, asking for video calls when not seeing child due to lockdown. court expects videos calls to be happening if there is no contact due to covid19.

hi bill.

seems exactly the same. in the 8mothns in our break up and nonmol order I had only had two over nights stays no longer then 2days each time. Understandably due to school so could do weekend only. But there was a constant pattern with holidays that she refuses contact anytime we get close to one, not saying I helped the situation but by the time I noticed it was to late the damage has been done. I think by keeping the days short she wouldnt worry about me keeping the children. Even though I would never to do that to my kids anyways.. I am being supporter of having both parents in kids lifes. I continued to see them for one day every but when things became shorter then that - alarm bells starting to ring. We went from trips to museums to sitting in car around the corner from house - to cancelling at pickup. At one stage I was across the road from my kids, then seen me yet I had no choice but to keep walking like I didnt exist, i think depression cant even describe what it did to me.
Your lucky you caught it a good time I would do backflips for years if I could get seen it seen under 4 weeks but 4 months, my minds doing backflips!!! Do you mind me asking how it when for you at your 1st meeting and where you stand with it currently ?
With the nonmol unfort I think Ive already given them a reason to extend it, its hard to say. How does it work, do I get notified prior to expiry ? im defo going to fight it, the date is fast approaching. I dont no if i have a real chance in succeeding if the police havent even made up there mind.

I sent her government guidelines stating this but to no avail. It seems common that this happens to dads but never in a million years did i think I would go without seeing or speaking to my boys for this long. the entire lockdown period.

Do you think I should try to persuade her further then I have tried, with something I havent tried - in terms of interim contact. The first hearing is way to far off ?

I would appreciate your insight.

hi,

with the non-mol still in place, it would be a bad idea to make contact with her. would make things worse for you. i have no experience with non-mols. other dads maybe in better position to advise you with that. if she has solicitor or your on good terms with her friend or family, perhaps you could reach out to them.

my first hearing was pretty short. i was a bit stunned by it. the whole time the judges kept staring at my ex in a stern way lol. case involved a new born. they ordered her to give me a private room at her place, so i can sit there for a short time with baby, every saturday in the interim, just before i pick up my other 2 kids for the day. ex and her family were not very pleased with that.

by the end of 3 hearings i was seeing kids ever other weekend, fri-sun. few hours on a wed after school every other week. that was last year. this year i went back to court as ex was messing around. got more time. fri-mon every other week, a mid-week overnight every other week. school holidays shared out. i wanted mid week overnight every week. but would cause more issues with work. if your police record is clean and you pose no harm to kids, you should be able to get arrangements like this. just that non-mol thing making things difficult for you.

Thank you.

It states on nonmol that I can contact her to make arrangements for contact between the kids. My contact is always via email and msgs to have record of communication. Never get a reply. Resorted in speaking to her solicitor again no reply further then 'taken instruction to stop contact'. Spoken to her family he dont want to play a part. Seems like it me vs the world.

So i was correct to say first hearing would be pretty much pointless, 4 months wait to get ball rolling but not achieved beyond that.

Any contact would be amazing right now. your getting the contact you deserve so well done.

I would love to hear anyone opinions or experience on nonmol orders? Do they have a longer effect on contact even after expiry? Can ground of extension be based on a breach? If no breached have been confirmed by police can judge see this as a breach?

Just hoping and praying here.

as her and solicitor not talking, not much you can do really. you should enjoy the sunshine. head to the beach. help you take your mind off all this.

Have you filed a C100 yet? do it straight away.

Bill cheers mate, im keeping my chin up.

Flyingember completed already but stuck till Oct.