Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Morning all,
My Ex and I separated 2 years ago, we are going to court with respect to the children, as she uses them as bargaining tools against me , so i thought it best to let the court to decide when and how we should see them. Re Finances we have nearly come to an agreement 3 times now and each time my Ex changes her mind and decides that she wants more, or the offer is not good enough, so again i think we may have to go through the courts to decide this ( very frustrating and another 12 months of back and forth).
My question is around new partners, my Ex is currently with one of my old friends (old friend for obvious reasons) and in January his rental is up so i expect he will move in with my Ex ( in the house that i solely pay the mortgage for) and i also have a new partner that i would like to move in with ( in a house that I rent)
1.) How does this effect the financials with respect to the divorce? Are the new partners financials taken into account in anyway?
2.) If my Ex's new partner moves into my house , I am paying the mortgage, the house is solely in my name . what are my options? Ideally id like him to contribute to the mortgage, but if necessary can i stop him moving in all together?
Thanks again for all your help guys,
I am not too sure as I have not really been in this situation. I don't think her living with her new partner will do anything to the financial side of it, I think the new partners money is only taken in to consideration if they are married (not too sure on that though)
If the mortgage is only in your name, surely you should stay in the house if it is legally yours? I don't understand that. I know you would not want to make your kids homeless but they should find a place to rent or you can see if you can sell the house to her and she pay the mortgage?
When you are married all assets become 50/50 so even though the house is mine in deed its still an asset of the marriage, and so we have at least equal claim to it, i moved out for the good of my kids, but id like to know what difference moving in with new partners makes and if i can do anything to stop him living in my house
@hopefuldad new partners make no difference other than on 1 point which il explain below..
New partners financials are not taken into account.
You cannot ask them to pay towards the mortgage (after all they are not liable), nor charge any rent as they are not a tenant, nor can you stop them moving in. I'd caution against having any conversations with ex trying to stop her moving someone in and moving on with her life due to the risk of being accused of post separation abuse (cobtrolling/coercive behaviour).
The only aspect where a new partner can be raised is that when sorting out the financials, the court takes into consideration each parties needs, if you ex is looking for a better than 50:50 settlement beyond what you feel is reasonable on account of being the primary carer of the children then her hand would be weakened as she would potentially have a partner to support her and does not have to be married to him. Although this is all considered at the discretion of the judge..
All the best.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.