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My ex the money grabber


Posts: 1
Registered
Topic starter
(@richmouse)
New Member
Joined: 8 hours ago

Hi 

I got divorced 10 years ago, I’ve paid maintenance from day 1, for the last few years it’s been £600 pm 

I also pay for daughters mobile £20 pm and give her £10 a week ‘allowance’ so in all approx £660 pm, my ex has had a habit of requesting I pay more as she can’t afford….not doing so has always felt like I’d be painted as the bad guy so I do for an easy life….

Whilst she was at school I also paid for her school meals and 50% towards all school trips, books and uniform 

live never shirked my responsibilities….

Thing is it’s got me no where, my eldest daughter (27) hasn’t spoken to me in 5 years and my youngest (17) hasn’t also stopped talking to me - to my knowledge I’ve done nothing other than split from their mum….

whatever I’ve paid has never seemingly been enough, their mum cried poverty but is living mortgage free and met a new guy who is financially affluent - I’ve also moved on but live (very happily) with my partner but with a huge mortgage, we struggle to live as comfortably as we could….

in an effort to contact youngest I reached out to my ex for help and the reply I got was to advise that my youngest was still attending college and I had to pay at least another years maintenance and a demand to see my p60

i had intended to stop paying when she was 18 - I didn’t realise the rules extended past then tbh

My questions are….

1/ in reality what could my ex do if I stop paying on her 18th - solicitors/csa/court? 
2/ if I refuse to disclose my p60 what can she do - I don’t want to pay her a penny more, plus as above I’ve always paid additional funds sometimes through coercion but I just wanted an easy life tbh

it would be good to know what my options are as tbh we could really do with the extra money whilst I know my ex is financially sound so it does grate somewhat that I still have to pay 

If I have too I have too but what’s the end game here for me if I don’t??

thanks ever so much for any responses 

 

cheers 

1 Reply
Posts: 5471
(@dadmod2)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 6 years ago

hi,

so you have been paying maintenance as private arrangement? if you do stop paying, then yes she may open a CMS case. have you checked the CMS calculator site? gives a good estimate of what to pay and what your payments would look like under CMS:

https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance

with CMS, its heavily linked to child benefit. if child benefit is still active, then you would be expected to carry on paying.

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