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Had a minor victory yesterday. I attended court in person after an enforcement application. I am not represented and at from the off, her solicitor try to bully me. I explained to her that i am wanting overnights to start as soon as this month. She went on to say I have submitted the incorrect form, i have applied for an enforcement not a variation and that the court will laugh at me and just throw this out and tell me to get on with it. I just said ok, I will wait to see what the judge says.
Thankfully, he was really nice and on my side, he did identify my ex had breached the order, he actually asked me if she should be punished in way of a prison sentence, unpaid work or a fine. I said no which he appreciated.
Her solicitor then went on to say I have filled out the wrong form, he simply shut her down and said I am treating this as a variation of the order, covid has held things up, and an administrative error prevented this hearing going ahead in November. All I am getting at the moment is 3 hours every two weeks unsupervised.
We left the court room to thrash out a deal, my ex was saying she would not allow overnights until November this year. Finally got them to agree to this happening on the 1st May (although the judge said he would hope it can be agreed earlier) My contact has been increased by three hours every other saturday and I can pick them up from school every wednesday and drop them off later. After 4 weeks, I will then see them Every two weeks but saturday and sunday so I have increased and more frequent contact. I am still unhappy with it, but it is better than what she was proposing so I suppose she has lost out a little? I am hoping she lightens up and allows overnights earlier, my kids always ask me when they can stay, so from now on, I am going to be honest and say I want you to stay over but Mummy says no.
hi,
it's disappointing that the judge did not step in and order overnights to resume much earlier. I heard that often when enforcement applications are made, it becomes a variation of order. It's good the judge confirmed a breach and was considering a punishment. Problem now is your ex may think she got off lightly, and may continue to mess around with the court order in future.
It would be worth gently nearer the time to push for overnights to commence by easter holidays. She hasnt got away with anything as no doubt you will be returning to variate the order unless she gives you plenty of contact.
The judge has left the door open potentially for you to get 10 nights out of 28 and half of the holidays if your ex doesnt just agree to it all
I know, their argument was that the original order stated unsupervised contact should be for 6-9 months. As covid got in the way, I have only had nearly 4 months of unsupervised. I would hope she listened to the judge and now knows if she does mess around with this order she will get in trouble, I will ask for a punishment next time if she does mess around. He did say he doesnt want to see us in court again, so I take that as a dig in her direction because they can see it is her that is being unreasonable.
Her solicitor is coming up with very weak excuses. A child probably only needs to see their dad literally 2 or 3 times supervised and a few time unsupervised for a few hours before they themselves just want more and more time with their dad. I been through it all in the past including an enforcement hearing becoming a variation hearing in my favor with contact been bumped up lol.
It seems when an ex breaches that they hope u dont call for punishment and instead increase your contact a bit instead. So basically they are being punished for breaching without realising
I know, my ex was not budging, the judge offered me a contested hearing, but added that due to covid that might not happen until May anyway. I am hoping once the visits start increasing she will be more open to the idea, but i wont hold my breath!
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