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I am looking for some advice,
I have been divorced for 3 years and have been using the same contact agreement with my ex-wife for the same period. I see my children every Tuesday overnight and then alternate weekend nights each week. I am happy with the setup as I see my children every weekend.
My ex-wife has now decided that this doesn't suit her and and I received a solicitors letter proposing a whole new arrangement where we alternate whole weekends, during the school holidays she is under no obligation to let me see them on Tuesday nights and I should take a week at Easter and 2 weeks in the summer holiday giving her 3 months written notice. I might add that she works part time and has approx 10 weeks holiday a year and I have 5. Although I would likely take holiday during those periods I am not happy being dictated like this. My children live 1/4 mile down the road and it would be awful not seeing them properly for a fortnight at a time.
My ex-wife has constantly not adhered to our current agreement and has done whatever has suited her, with or without the childre, often changing things at the last minute. I have stuck rigidly to the agreement and always compromised plans around it knowing that the children come first.
I had a MIAM appointment but along with the costs being prohibitive I don't believe my ex-wife will compromise so seems daft wasting potentially thousands of pounds for no outcome.
Money is tight and I feel really annoyed that i am potentially going to spending money trying to defend an agreement I am happy with.
Does anyone know if she files a court order will I be liable for costs if it goes to court? How easy would it be to 'defend' myself? The way I see it my reasons are very simple and clear? I'm stuck between being getting myself into debt but also fighting to see my children. I will do what I need to do but I cant believe she can dictate these terms.
Any advice/experience would be appreciated.
How many nights you get every 4 weeks at moment. Is it 6 nights?
It’s 2 nights a week, every Tuesday and alternating Fridays and Saturdays at the weekends.
As it stands you would get every tuesday overnight as normal during term time. Your ex would be allowed to change contact to every other weekend so 1 weekend you would have no contact. A lot of dads have this arrangement and some have children sunday night as well so they can do school run. Half the holidays is standard . Summer holidays would be 2 x 1 week blocks and rest split. Holidays should be 50/50 and is hopefully something you can arrange between yourselves or mediation. She cant make u do days u cant do and is about your availability. If you can only do 1 night every other weekend then you would be on 6 nights , 8 if you can do every other weekend. 10 if you done school run.
It is very common when people split a while to change to every other weekend and she maybe possibly actually behaving reasonably. If you do change it is hard at first but once you get used to every other weekend it is actually better
Thanks I appreciate your comment.
I am more interested in how to handle it from a legal perspective, I don’t want to do every other weekend.
Have you or anyone been through similar?
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do unless ex agrees. Every other weekend is very common unless agreed otherwise by ex partner. It does mean you do go without seeing your
children 6 nights in term time. Weekends is classed as quality time and if no safeguarding concerns shared. A family court would never order contact every weekend if ex disagrees.
Every weekend has been used in early court proceedings if contact is been built up in phased stages or as an interim contact order until a final hearing on ocassions.
hi dave,
it's difficult, as we rarely get everything we ask for in courts. after i divorced, i was seeing kids every saturday and that was it. no overnights. so it went to court. i dared ask can i have kids every weekend lol, but no that wouldn't be possible unless the ex agreed to it, or shes some crazy drug addict and courts decided it etc... my ex wanted me to have sat-sun, every other weekend. i refused as i need more quality time with kids.
at first the thought of every other weekend sounded horrible. but i was not being allowed to have kids overnight at all, so it was not so bad and i got used to it. atleast with you, you will still have your kids every tuesday for the night. and also think about the summer, am sure you would like to have a full weekend with the kids, big days out, amusement parks? and it will get better with half of school holidays.
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