Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I have indirect contact with my children via letters and cards. I have ideas what my children are interested in but am struggling as to where to start as I don't want to be too over the top with them, just show I am interested and care for them.
My kids are 6 and 10.
Can anybody in a similar position give me any starters please?
Hi there
I remember another dad suggesting that one way to consider is to have some structure with some normality that the kids can replicate too and makes it easier for them to read and follow..
You letter
Asking the kids how they are
Tell them how you are
Ask the kids what they have been upto
Tell them what you have been upto since you last wrote
Talk about something current and topical (if you are engaging with their schools then ask how they are enjoying certain activities or events or subjects, can get details off twitter or their website)
Finish off with a poem or motivational quote and a reminder of when you will write to them again (and if they are writing to you remind them to write to you)
If allowed, do a drawing/picture/painting/arts n crafts (buttons, crepe paper etc) of you and what you have been doing, or maybe add a photo of you in a different location each time with a message and date/time on the back...
Just my thoughts, hope this helps...
All the best.
@Daddyup thanks for that. As it's the first one I just wanted to ensure that I didn't make them feel upset or think they're missing out on things and be accused of manipulation.
It's a fair concern to have.
So important to avoid saying things like don't you miss me, do you want to see daddy, tell mummy to let you see me, I want to see you bit mummy doesn't let me, or anything adult or court related..
Keep it child focused and relevant..
That would be the best way to avoid writing anything you shouldn't.. Same goes for any pictures too..
All the best..
I agree with the above - do not mention the situation any of you are in, it's about showing you are interested in the minor things. And don't ask everything at once, just a couple of things, and you can ask about other stuff in the future, so it keeps things going.
And keep copies of everything you send - in future years, you'll be able to look back through them with your kids.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.