[Solved] ex controling and damaging kids minds

do you work full time during week ? How old are your children as they make play a part how u could work access arrangements out

hi,

you having kids for 3 nights should be fine. during the court process they will assess and see if there's safeguarding issues. if there's no issues and you want the kids to spend fri-mon 3 nights, then you would be expected to drop them to school on monday morning. for court you will be expected to explain how this benefits the children, e.g. more time for you to meet their educational needs, help them with studies etc. it should not be about ex being a control freak. if you have 50/50 arrangement already, then hopefully court will cement that.

if your not going to court, then both of you can do pretty much what you like. if your ex does not let you see kids, then police and socials will not take any action as long as children are not in danger.

hi there my kids are 2,4 and 6. ive always worked mornings as so i could be a hands on full time parent. covid coming and it messed things up however i still have this systyem with work..

hi yes ive filed for court 2 weeks ago. she has broken our 50/50 as we have never had it cemented in court , she has refused mediation twice now. and the last time was a couple of weeks ago so i filled my c100 form and a c4 to find were she lives as she has never told me however it is close to my home due to her meeting me on drop off.

For now, that is all you can do unfortunately. For now, you will have to see the kids as and when she says so until you go to court to arrange a more solid child arrangement order. For now, just accept this for what it is, but try not to argue with your ex or constantly contact her to discuss contact, they can easily turn this in to harassment which will not be good for you.

I hope you get a date in court sorted soon and your contact increases

thankyou its so unfair and its messing with my children whos feelings are being hert and manipulated.

I know, and hopefully she will listen to her kids. As hard as it is, just try and stay relaxed, and in years to come when your kids are older, you can tell them how much you did fight for them and they will appreciate that. As long as you are getting some sort of contact for now, that is better than nothing at all.

I did not see my kids at all in any way shape or form for over 7 months, but when I saw them for the first time they were so excited and happy to see me. Kids do not forget and they will know themselves if you are a bad person or not. Us dads usually get the raw deal and the mothers will always have priority over the kids, they always have and always will. I am hoping in time it changes.

thank you for conecting with me means a lot..

Hi , you say the childen are 2,4 and 6. Am i right in thinking she is wanting you to have them every weekend 4 x2 nights a month and she has them sunday night - thurs night ( 4 x 5 nights every week ) so you would be getting them every single friday until sunday pm

yes however she wants everyweekend to herself and its to do with money as i was joint care untill she started withholding them. my work means weekends only isnt possible plus. im going to the court to fight for our kids sake . she has had a history of depression before our relationship and during. when i had them for two ingle nights withing the last 22 days i can tell there picking up on her behaviour.... so sad to see braking my hart and social services say it a court matter ...

hi,

if you go to court seeking 50/50 but you mention work commitments getting in the way, then it's unlikely they will order a 50/50 arrangement. there are some dads that have 50/50 and they have arrangements where they have kids for 1 whole week, then their ex has for following week and it alternates. or others like 3 days on, 3 days off. including school runs.