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I know we are not the only ones going through this, I have been reading many topics trying to find our answer.
I'm not sure if there is one in these unprecedented times.
But thought I'd ask opinions of what to do for best anyway.
As always, we fully appreciate your opinions and advice and usually follow the guidance.
My partners ex wife is being somewhat unreasonable in point blank saying NO to his children coming to our home until covid has gone. (like that's happening very quickly!)
She stopped contact before lockdown with a simple dictating text, and does not look like he will be getting them again once lifted. She suggested if he kept asking she would block him.
She said until its over nobody is leaving or entering our house.
So stuck in limbo with when he might have his children again.
He gave up first week contact, and then sent messages explaining our household in lockdown too, all taking it very seriously, I have children too to protect.
We are not even taking advantage of daily exercise as luckily garden big enough.
He has sent links from solicitors and cafcass and government with guidelines and how court orders should be complied still. She does not care what is written in black & white. He's spoken to a solicitor who says the same as guidelines and told him to put them too her. Fat use that was!
I've read for hours on end and have seen all the advice given by them all, and by the courts themselves, some of which is very confusing, and sounds like it gives resident parent the choice, but as both have PR and both have not agreed to one parenting varying the order due to circumstances, I feel something more needs to be done.
There is 2 young children missing their routine and daddy dearly.
It's very upsetting and confusing for the 2 young children that have only managed to have the last year with Daddy after a 3 year battle and not seeing them!
Yes she's letting him call them everyday and she even let him go to her house and play out on the driveway with them this weekend, after he has pleaded once more (I know its something! She didn't have to do this.) but it really does not make any sense, no difference than popping them into car and bringing them to our safe home too where he can also show he's daddy who can protect them too.
Potentially it's a very long time the children are going to go without seeing their daddy and I feel someone should fight for them.
We've recently found out her partner in Lockdown with her & children is actually still working, slipped up with new stuff coming into the house the children were saying, but in empty properties she's tells him!
So her statement above not entirely true, people are leaving & entering.
From past events she likes to show she has the control when it comes to HER children which is why a court order is now in place, it just feels like its not worth the paper it's written on, all that hard work for still battling with fear.
My partner is so soft and hates to upset the apple cart as he always loses & gets punished with time taken away when he tries to stick up for him or their children.
What's people's thoughts? Suck it up, sit back and ride it out?
Or put up more of a fight even given the circumstances and consider a court application? He's worried he will lose this given the circumstances.
I'm aware these take time too & may be a telephone hearing, But if he finally gets one, he may get somewhere, and in future it may teach her to stick to order, and that she has not got that control anymore.
I've also considered the back load family court must be having and how it's not urgent, but it is not right!?
Would like to hear any thoughts, especially from anyone who has taken the plunge and sent an application to court with similar circumstances and can offer any feedback.
Many thanks for your time and reading as always.
hi,
yes many of us are going through the same thing. its terrible. I waited close to 4 weeks of having no contact with my kids at all, as ex was even making phone contact difficult. she only gave in after pressure from cafcass and her family.
that head of family court Mcfarlane basically gave green light for mothers to vary the court order in this situation and keep the children at their home, and allow phone contact. so if your partner made a court application now, i don't think it will achieve much. his ex is allowing phone contact and even visits to her place. better to have some patience and sit this out. what we know is the lockdown is going to be extended for another 3 weeks. i just hope the schools re-open before the summer holidays.
π just awful anyone has to go through this.
Me and my ex are taking it very seriously and our boys are swapping from 2 healthy&sensible households this week as instructed. We don't have a court order.
When a court order is in place and government have made it clear they can move houses I don't know what gives them the right! Surely you should just be able to turn up at the times stated and they have to be readily available?so hard when you don't want children to see drama.
I am surprised at the play on drive way this week, it has really helped, but what odd memories to make for your children, surely they need some normality! π
If we knew it would be 4 weeks or so or end of lockdown so much easier to work towards, but she's implying when school starts, which could be Sept or god forbid even later.
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