[Solved] Contact during lockdown

hi,

grab an axe and head to her place. just kidding :p

their all at it. im in same position. she is not going to budge, but she has to allow you to have video calls with your child. ask her, because that is what family court advises:

https://www.judiciary.uk/announcements/coronavirus-crisis-guidance-on-compliance-with-family-court-child-arrangement-orders/

Yes, I am allowed occasional video calls but only with her sitting next to my daughter telling her to tell me that they are very busy and she does not have time to talk. (Busy doing what? They are in lockdown!!) I am thinking of trying to get an enforcement order. Does anyone have any comments?

hi,

i would not apply for enforcement. the next hearing date you get will probably be in 1-2 months time. and its likely they will agree with the mother for keeping child safe at her home. court will only have issue if mother is not allowing video calls. but she is allowing that.

all we can do is wait for lockdown restrictions to become relaxed, or schools re-opening.

I would put a court application in for enforcement . It would do no harm as she is being malicious and using the current situation to her advantage. In your application you can say there is no indication when your daughter is able to see her father again and the court order is being breached. I would not with whats going on have a solicitor though. You just need to get a court hearing. Hopefully if you take ex to court she may allow you to see your daughter . Whilst nothing being done theres a risk your daughter could be turned against you.

I would as you got nothing to lose actually first inform your ex that unless she reinstates contact you will be enforcing court order and she has been unreasonable and also send her the part where its quoted that children are able to see non resident parents and you are causing our daughter emotional harm by denying her contact with her father

My partner is in the same situation and we've been considering doing the same. It's so awful the whole situation. I'm aware so many fathers and even mothers are not having contact due to the situation.
There's no suggestion that once lockdown is lifted that he can have them agsin, she stopped contact before lockdown and saying its not happening until its over! That could be next year!!

On one hand we understand protecting them is vital, but on the other we can't understand why when both households are complying and have the same interests for the children.
We have had advice from solicitors and its now on their websites that a court order should be complied by still, unless you agree together to vary it at which point you should keep paper record of this.

The children have had their routines messed up, school ended abruptly, talk of sickness amd deaths, unable to see family and friends and I personally I think their contact visits with both healthy parents/households should stay as normal as possible to reassure them their parents are safe & well, and able to look after them safely even during a crisis.
Video calling is all well, but many children don't interact well on the phone, especially when resident parent is there listening. It's not parenting or quality time 🙁
I feel there is also nothing to lose applying to court, my partner is worried incase he loses, but by then let's hope restrictions lifted.
Court may frown upon the application given the circumstances, but I hope they will also frown upon the lack of Co parenting and effective communication in the best interests of the child (ren). Surely there is something to be said by the law if the government guidelines say they can spend time with both parents but resident parent is making own rules!

Please update us if you make the application, we will be very interested to see how it goes. (they are offering remote hearings via videocall)
If my partner does this in the meantime I will also update.

Ps you could consider a letter from Solicitor reminding ex of court order. Probably same price as application, another option my partner considering. Sadly solicitor letters are easily ignored though.

Good luck!

Yes, that's true. But when schools reopen I won't be able to see her as we live 300 miles apart!

What is worrying me most is that because my ex's partner has to shield, my daughter is being forced to aswell. They live in a very small house with a tiny garden. She is not allowed to go out at all. I feel that they are inflicting their own circumstances on my daughter and making the situation much worse than it needs to be for her.

Get on the phone to some solicitors for a free 30 min advice chat.
See what they think.
Sadly it's wrong I understand what you are saying but with her partner being told to shield (if that's true and he's acuually had the message/letter from the NHS) they may agree your ex is doing the right thing.
How would she have reacted if your daughter was with you during lockdown announcement, I wonder if his shielding would have come into consideration then.
We feel your pain & totally get where you are coming from, it's exactly the same in our house, except for the partner sheilding. Her partner apparently still working in empty properties! So seems our house is actually safer if being picky!

Thank you for your reply. We have pointed out the government guidelines to her but she just says that the guidelines are that everyone should stay at home and see no one. We have pointed out that we do not go out so would not bring the virus home. We live very rurally and are extremely lucky to be able to walk out of our door straight across fields and see literally nobody, so we do not need to remain indoors at all times. I am aware of how lucky we are, but I cannot understand why she would not want our daughter to benefit from this freedom under the current circumstances. I am concerned about going to court as they may just see it as frivolous, but equally I am concerned for my daughter's mental well being - both because of being cooped up like a battery chicken and because she is not allowed to see me as we are very close. To make matters worse I am having to pretend to my daughter that she must stay there for her own safety, because if I told her that I want her to come to see me, that would cause friction between her and her mum which would add to her angst! I can see no way out other that to apply to the court. However, I am guessing that they will be busier than normal and shorter staffed too so it probably won't be a quick process.
I don't think a solicitor's letter would have any effect on her but I think she would listen to the court.
I will update if we apply but it may be a bit of a wait I think.
I have read that you can apply to ANY family court and that it doesn't need to be the one which made the initial order, so I guess its a case of finding the quietest court!!

Thank you NK82. Yes, we also feel that our home is the safer one as her partner has carers going in to the home every day to help out. There is obviously a risk that they could bring infection in with them!

We could have written this ourselves.. All exactly the same and there will be millions out there exactly the same sadly.
You definately will not be the first to apply for this reason.
I feel they will be inundated because of 1 unread unable parent.

My partners ex not interested in government amended guidelines on children in seperate households, the cafcass website recommendation or the solicitors.
Just being very unreasonable to discuss anything. Her way or no way!

It's a tough call in which way it will go, but really nothing to lose.
Wish my partner would see this. He's so scared to upset the apple cart. That just keeps her in control always!
We keep an eye on here regularly to see how people are getting on.
Hoping to encourage him soon with a positive court application.

Good luck