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Recently broke up and moved out my ex house as we have had multiple arguments and things going on where it hasn’t been healthy expect this she told me I’m not welcome to stay in house or be in house any more !
I am a full time carer under carers allowance and have been for last 4-5 months, I was offered to stay at her mums till I find my own place as I’ve declared I’m homeless but not had any help of council even though I’ve contacted them several times. Now just recently my ex has put in a claim for CMS and they have just came back saying I don’t need to pay anything as I’m on carers allowance and don’t earn enough.
I have also recently just started trying to become a full time day trader as I’m very confident and have been profitable on demo accounts as this will also mean I can carry on being a carer when I move out and gives the kids more time with me. At the moment I’m undergoing trail period with the company I’m using to help fund me account as I don’t have the funds to do it but I have to prove I can be profitable long term.
The two kids 2 & 5 stay with me for 2 night every fortnight and I still take to and pick them up for school almost every day as my ex has only just managed to get her self a car as her nan passed away so was given money as we used to share my car but obviously now longer do !
she has just today challenged me saying that I’m lying about my income and texting her mum photos of my chats with her saying she thinks I’m being unfair financially to the kids even though I paid half of the nursery fee half of my daughter ballet and always keep the feed and looked after when they come and stay or are around me ?
now surely I’m not doing nothing wrong ?
I just need advice in regards to all of this
hi,
the main reason why parents get CMS involved is so they don't have to have arguments about money. If she keeps asking for money, and it's stressing you out, you can ask her to contact CMS and not engage in further discussions.
You seem to be at a very vulnerable stage in life, so I would urge extreme caution with day trading. something like 90% of traders lose their money.
@dadmod2 hi,
I have express this that should contact CMS but just get ignored like she picks and chooses when she wants to talk to me ?
As for the trading it’s only demo trading as I have done this corn2 years so nothing serious has been done and yes I’m fully aware 90% do loose out. Was only mentioned in trying to make ends meet with money in making a effort as I can’t get a job and be a full time carer
Hi @justjack
I am sorry that it is a difficult time for you at the moment. There is a lot to think about and work through, and it will take time. I would really encourage you to continue being the best Dad you can be to your children. They are too young to fully understand the reason for some of the changes they are experiencing, but they will still really benefit from you being there consistently for them. When you are with them, try to focus fully on enjoying the time together (put the phone away or on silent!) and do something which they each really enjoy. It does not have to be fancy or expensive - just a trip to a playground or reading a story or doing playdough or playing a silly game together. This space for continuing to build your relationship with each of them is so important - for them and for you.
In time, you might like to take a look at this online parenting resource https://spurgeons.org/resources-and-courses/courses/parenting-after-separation/
There are also lots of other good parenting tips and resources (in addition to the blogs on Dad.Info).
I wish you all the best as you seek to move forwards.
In some ways having the CMS involved is a good thing as it puts a buffer between parents who aren't getting on.
First things first. Now the other parent has opened a case and it has been determined you have a nil assessment, you need not pay anything at all. Anything you do pay is entirely voluntary and the CMS will class it as a gift. It sounds as though you're barely scraping by, I would look at New Style Jobseekers which allows claimants to work for anything upto 16 hours per week. It won't affect your maintenance as you'd still get a nil assessment. If you qualify for UC you'd get more money but the CMS would take £7 per week directly from your benefit payment.
As for the demo trading, if you pursue this would it be self employed as a Sole Trader so to speak?
Thanks everyone, I just spoke to homeless officer who putting me in right direction for moving out into 1 bedroom rent with help from universal credit that way I can’t leave being a carer finally and focus on getting full time job and my self and the kids
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