Child custody

Hello there,

I have recently applied for a court order as my ex-wife sent me a solicitors letter stating that our 5 year informal agreement was changing, I usually have my 3 children aged 9,9 & 5 every other Thursday where I pick them up from my ex-wife’s home and take them to school on Friday morning and then on alternate weeks I have them Thursday where I again, pick them up from my ex-wife’s property until I return them Sunday evening at 6.30pm to my ex-wife’s property.

In the solicitor’s letter, which was received without any warning, proposing to change the visitation to Wednesday after school until Friday drop up at school every week, so I get no weekends at all and she proposing this is all year round, only changed if a holiday is agreed by both parties - basically doing what she pleases.

My question is what happens when I don't pick my children up this afternoon (as it's a Wednesday) and the proposed new schedule is supposed to start this week, I am anxious they will be distressed - I have told both my ex-wife and her solicitor that I do not agree to the proposal and will attempt to collect the children as usual Thursday morning. I had a message back from my ex-wife stating that if "any attempts to ignore or override these arrangements will be documented and if necessary, reported to the police" I am extremely anxious at the thought of turning up tomorrow and being denied access and the police being called. I have never deviated from the agreement before, missed a CMS payment and have a lot of evidence showing that I continually have tried to help with her work arrangements etc, she refuses to speak to me and has done for the last 1.5 years, agreeing to speak to my partner instead - this had been working incredibly well until I received the solicitor’s email.

She called the police on me 2 years ago as I found content on the children's iPads that was not suitable for them and confronted her about this and asked her to sign out of the device and a few month later I saw on the iPad messaging system that she had married her new partner whilst the children were in my care without telling them, I told the children their mother had remarried as I felt that gaining a stepfather over a weekend was quite a big change for them and I believe they should have been told prior to the event. I had not looked for this information as it came up on the home screen, the iPads were shared between the 2 homes and I had paid half towards them - she continually references that she has been told by the police to not speak to me, even though she does when she feels fit face to face and even the the police officer I spoke to said it was not a police matter and he believed I had acted in the children's best interests.

I have also invited her to 2 separate MIAM sessions, one when she refused to speak to me and called the police and one after receiving the recent solicitor letter, both of which she has declined in writing to the mediator.

I want to make sure I am doing what I should and what to do regarding the access as it stands now.

Thank you