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I am in the court process seeking a child arrangement order for my children, where contact has been on and off for the last 2 years.
Over the last 12 months the children have changed their stance from being happy to see me to ademantly not wanting to see me. Behaviours such as cutting short video calls (which their mum oversaw), refusing to get out of their mum's car to attend the contact centre. They have also written notes saying the likes of I don't want to see Dad again, Dad is mean, I'm scared Dad will shout and hit me.
This was never the case and adds to my overall fear of parental alienation. The children have also said thing over the last few years like, "mummy days there are good mums and bad mums, good dads and bad dads, you are a bad dad." And "mummy says you don't give her enough money".
Added to the fact that the children are not currently sering their maternal grandparents and family too shows further alienating behaviours by mum.
I have flagged all this to Cafcass but they are simply saying no direct contact and have not even mentioned my concerns in their report.
we are suggesting a child's guardian but I really am stuck on the best way to prove PA. I am being accused of domestic abuse but no fact find has taken place, even though I have requested it as I want to prove these allegations false.
Does anyone have any experience similar?
Hello your situation sounds the same as mine. My ex accused me of being abusive towards her, a tactic to prevent me from seeing my son and to delay the court case, which took 2 years. There was no evidence, no police records, no hospital attendance etc eventually the courts told her to stop and that they would not listen to anymore of these claims. She also told them I had tried to kill myself, I hadn’t, I got a letter from my GP to confirm this. After the court case she went to the police and asked them to backdate all of her claims that I was abusive to her. I got called in with a solicitor, I took the court paperwork , she failed to tell them we had been in court, ended up with her being told off for wasting police time. When I did get a child arrangement order my son was 2, I had not seen him since he was 6weeks old. He would play with my parents, but wouldn’t let me join in, when asked why he said’ daddy naughty, daddy not nice, don’t play with him Josh, broke my heart. I phoned social services as I saw this as child abuse, they went after me saying we will look in to you if you report this, unbelievable, I said go ahead. All they did was offer my ex family support.
my ex paid for an independent social worker to try and discredit me, but she support me and went against them 😄.
when I first got contact it was in a contact centre, which was fine with me. I was observed and passed everything.
do you have a solicitor?
Thanks @Jnny.
Wow, that sounds very traumatic for you.
No, I haven't a solicitor. I'm a litigant in person supported by a McKenzie Friend.
I think with my case, the alienation is too far gone to go back to how things should be.
How old are your children? I thought the courts were really up on parent alienation now and took action against the parent doing it. To be honest it didn’t take my son long to realise I was not naughty. I was only young at the time living with my parents they helped by saying positive things about me. It went bad for my ex because my son got upset with her for saying bad things about me and started telling her he didn’t love her anymore. If the courts have ordered contact at contact centre it must take place with the mother supporting it by working with the children to get them to attend. CAFCASS should be doing a report after every meeting at the contact centre and you should be given a copy. Those report are later given to the courts as part of the case, have you had these. If the children are saying negative things that their mother has told them at these meetings, CAFCASS should make a note in their report which will help you to prove parent alienation.I’m presuming you don’t bad mouth their mother. At the meetings it’s got to be all about the children,take interesting things for them, take photos of grandparents to remind them of them. It depends on age of children as I imagine it will be a lot harder if they are older.
Is it you that as taken this to court to ask for a child arrangement order?
@jnny the children are 6 and 8 and yes,I am seeking a CAO after contact was stopped.
We tried contact centre but they wouldn't come in the door. There is no reason why they should feel like that apart from constant bad mouthing and coaching from mum and partner along with constant pressure from authorities etc.
CAFCASS hasn't even mentioned the potential for PA in their report.
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