[Solved] Child Arrangement, Prohibited Steps Order and NMO on False Allegations

Hi

I think quite a few of us have advised you already in order to avoid an outcome significantly restricting contact.

As Bill says, the report is harsh and significantly reduces your contact with the kids. However, whilst I did initially type up a more direct response to you, can I suggest that you re read this thread with a reflecting mindset so that it may give you pointers on potential next steps.

I also feel that at the very least you need to amend your posts to remove any identifying aspects as these are family court documents which clearly have your name and at one point your child's name in the post.

Failing that maybe a moderator could do this in keeping with the spirit and principle of how the forum generally operates and redact as appropriate?

I'm sure we are all happy to advise further, do you have any future dates scheduled to be back at court?

Unless you accept the family court findings and do a DAPP course you are basically in a very bad situation. Unless you change your approach its going to be ordered 99 % 1 call a month. Your ex can then quickly influence professionals and get that down to indirect contact . I would be doing my best to get on dapp court at your next family court hearing and trying to work slowly to getting face to face contact back with your children. 

I have no intention of being blackmailed into doing a DAPP course. I will fight my corner and appeal the case for the NMO. Its disgusting how they are delaying the contact, this can all be resolved with simple face to face contact with our child which the Mother had removed and cannot allow other fathers to be going through the same **** ive been through.

Have flagged this up with Moderator to remove it and will add it again with the names removed.

The best approach is trying to understand how the process (courts etc) works and navigate it to your advantage. You have to clearly decide what it is you want to achieve. The way I see it you can attempt to achieve the following outcomes:

1 - clear your name and get unsupervised access to your kids

2 - accept the allegations and build up contact with with your kids slowly to eventually get to unsupervised access once you complete DAPP course

3 - fail to clear your name but then accept the allegations and build up contact with with your kids slowly to eventually get to unsupervised access once you complete DAPP course

4 - fail to clear your name, deny the allegations and accept/reject minimal indirect contact with your kids, potentially not seeing them until either your ex changes her mind or your kids are old enough to decide for themselves and come and find you if your ex hasn't alienated them etc.

All have varying risks and timescales, you asked what happens if you stand your ground and not accept things, these are your options. Potentially option 2 is quicker than 1 due to current court delays and timescales but you will need to give consideration. If you lose at court then this reduces your options further and increases your exes hand to make things even more difficult for you. You are then left with options 3 and 4 which will take significantly longer. 

We are all here to help and therefore do not think I or any of the others just want you to accept things but we all look at things in a practical manner. Sometimes it comes down to can you compromise on your principles to put the needs of the children first. Is clearing your name more important than the children seeing you if you cannot achieve both? As Warwickshire says you can still look at option 2 and strategically take an approach to concede and possibly avoid losing the contact in the way that is suggested.

With the report as it is, you could be looking at at least 12 to 18 months before you get any supervised contact with your kids as there are delays to run the course etc due to COVID plus sorting out contact centres and then reports on your supervised visits etc.

You mentioned certain aspects are false, some of the more obvious questions that arise are why and how did child mention war zone and halo? Why would children say dog attacked? I don't think the court will believe your ex coached them on these points as they are too random.

Lastly, as always, ensure you do not breach non mol. If you do and are prosecuted, you could end up going to prison and/or a criminal record which will create a 5th option which is to wait for any sentence to complete and then rehabilitation (probation supervision) and then similar to option 4 so longer than 12 to 18 months.

I hope my comments help to guide in some way. I've spent a lot of time with my solicitor discussing matters and these options and there really is no other way.

All the best.

the stuff about kids playing 18 rated games is quite petty in grand scale of things. I was guilty of letting kids play an 18 rated game, because horse riding is fun 🙂 ex, Court/Cafcass moaned about that. I said fine, kids will no longer play that game.

as daddyup listed, I would go with option 2. It would be the quickest route. You could seek legal advice on this. They will probably say as everything has gone against you, unfortunately you now have to jump through hoops to be with your children again. Court will not accept any appeals because you are unhappy with their decision.