Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi all, i have a current court order for my children, I have recently asked for the ex for more time with them which it does state in the order that we discuss this between ourselves. She is pretty much refusing, if I apply to vary the order, can cafcass get involved if I request it. My kids are desperate to see me more often and they were too young to to really understand last time the were spoken to by cafcass (the youngest was 2 eldest was 5 at the time and 2 years have passed since) I feel if they were to speak with them or even see me with them it would help me a lot in them suggesting I should have more time with them
Hi,
Usually cafcass get involved right from the start, so you have your initial call with them. Court may order cafcass to do section 7 report, so they will interview you and talk to your kids. What is your current arrangements like?
I have had cafcass involved, full section 7 report and no issues from them. At the moment, I get one night every other weekend and a couple of hours on a Wednesday after school. Although covid has messed that up as when they are not at school due to isolating or holidays, I lose that day until they go back to school.
I have asked for more contact, I have asked for Friday to Monday every other weekend and one week this year in the summer holidays, but this has been refused. The ex is using the fact our youngest daughter has been diagnosed with autism recently as an excuse. although she is happy here, she does not play up or get anxious and sleeps well too. So i was wandering if I apply to vary the order, could cafcass get involved and actually do visits and see me with the kids and even talk to them again and suggest contact should increase.
Unfortunately, my ex has been making things up trying to say that since she has had over nights with me, her nursery "can no longer cope with her" as she is playing up and will only be going 3 days a week. This is not true as I called the nursery and spoken with a health visitor who is monitoring her progress (she is 4 but not really talking much) . She also said that her nursery closed early last week due to three positive covid results so they closed early for half term. I called the nursery and this was not true either.
hi,
I think it's reasonable to ask court for more contact. 2 nights a month is not a way to have a meaningful relationship with a child. As child is in nursery it should be easier for cafcass to give more contact, like fri-mon. you could also ask for a mid-week overnight if your able to do it. are you able to have child for 2-3 weeks in summer, a week in easter and xmas?
Yes I am able to, it is exactly what I want but the ex is just refusing it. It is frustrating and she says she is doing what is best for the children, but I do not agree. The odd thing is she tells me I should help more with their school work etc. It is what I want to do but how do I do that with 2 nights a month? Right now, she is allowing me to have them Friday to Sunday but only during the summer holidays (although one week they are on holiday with their mum so it I will miss one Friday) then it goes back to just Saturday to Sunday every fortnight when they go back to school?
when was your last court hearing?
if your going back to vary order, you can set out arrangements your seeking in your position statement, and hope cafcass gives recommendations that go along with what your seeking.
@bill337 it was back in December 2020. the order says that the parents are to discuss increasing contact themselves. But the ex clearly reads this as she can make all the decisions based on what she thinks is right, and this will never change. I think I will apply to the courts and do as you say, hopefully cafcass can get involved and help.
Cafcass involvement is just a terrible experience.
Before they attended I went to the "being a better parent courses" to help my case. In this course I was told to lie to my children as this is deemed appropriate parenting !
Screw them I don't lie to my children and they don't lie to me. This is a basic parenting skill!
Anyhow cafcass seem to write a fictional story about yourself and when you read the report it sounds like your some mater abuser.
They are a waste of time.
Wonder what fictional story they will write for you .
Don;t waste your time offering them tea. coffee , food etc..
They actually are taught you may try to poison them !
Bunch of weirdos , honestly imagine that being your profession. You'd have to be a freak .
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.