[Solved] CAFCASS interview

hi,

i have not enforced an order before. maybe they also do cafcass checks for enforcement. or unless they deciding it will be to vary the order. seems like a lot of enforcement applications end up being a variation.

when was the last time you were in court? how old is your order?

The final hearing was on the 19th December last year. The ex appealed it the following day so I knew I would end up in court again. I had supervised visits, then she made up a load of lies again to say unsupervised could not happen and then covid hit, i have not seen my girls now since 7th March. Even after the hearing due on the 19th Aug wont be the last one. My ex does not like being told what to do. I dont understand why police checks have to be done again, I have nothing to hide so I am not worried about that, they will at least find out she lied about reporting a breach of the non mol any way, its just getting beyond a joke now, she is hurting our kids, and she can hear them on the calls I have every two weeks that they are missing me and want to see me

that's a shame, most parents have resumed contact by now. what is her reason now for still keeping the kids away from you?
really you should be having weekly calls.

Well she said I cannot be trusted because one of my children got knocked over by another child at a soft play area and I also talked to another parent while i was there, so I wasnt paying attention to them. This is why it has not progressed to unsupervised, which should have been the end of March.

She is now using the virus as an excuse, saying her parents are still self isolating so will cannot supervise contact. I have offered my family to do it, her solicitor said each member of my family have abused her so she refused that. I asked for examples, I was told they dont have to give me examples. I asked if her sister could do it, but that request is ignored. After reading Daddyups post, i have no faith anything will get sorted out by the sounds of it.

I would suggest that if those are the only reasons for non contact and not progressing to unsupervised then they will not stand up at a court hearing..

The nature of soft play is that children learn to play through social engagement with other children which includes the rough and tumble, parents speaking to other parents is par for the course.

I know, but my ex will not be told what to do. It is her worst personality trait. She appealed the final decision the following day it was ordered.

My eldest a couple of years ago climbed up the conservatory at home (i was at work) and she fell and cracked her head open. But that is perfectly fine. She is clumsy (just like me) she is forever getting bump reports from school with scrapes and bruises, but she doesn't take them out of school? She is just using any excuse she can. But I really do hope they see how unreasonable she is being, but even if it goes in my favour, I know this will not be the end of it. I will be in court time and time again, i have no doubt about it.

I think we all accept that we will spend a significant period of our lives in and out of court fighting for our kids.

Crazy but it's how things are.

once kids reach age 11-12+, then repeat court visits will have little to no effect. my 6 year old asked me to tell their mum that they want to live with daddy :p

Hi Bill

I'm assuming that's where the kids are indifferent or saying they don't want to see NRP?

If the kids are saying they want to see NRP and not being allowed by the resident parent then it is still worthwhile to go to court?

Thanks

My eldest is 6 and she is forever asking me to pick her up from school, complaining that I cant look after her but the ex's partner does. She doesn't like him by the sounds of it. She keeps asking why I cant go round her house and look after her. It kills me, Especially when she shouts out "I will never forget you dad" on every call. This concerns me a little as I am thinking she is overhearing conversations where mum is saying "hopefully they will forget their dad soon enough" or if she is telling them to forget me. I told her on the last call that I am doing evrything I can to see them again, and never forget that I love them more than anything in the world and I will see them as soon as possible. The fact their mum hears what they are saying and won't act on it, is unforgivable. I don't understand how anyone can be so coldhearted.

Hi Ferfer

I dont know your ex but my kids also say things like that. My counsellor (who is also a child trauma counsellor) explained that the size of the world for children under 10 is very small (mum/dad, siblings, wider family, school and friends) and when parents separate they worry they may not see one parent again and worry they may forget that parent and due to the small world they have it is a thought and worry that can be constant and intense although not long lasting as they mature.

So it may or may not be down to anything your ex is saying but more a worry that your child has about not seeing you and therefore worrying that they may forget you as time passes and their world expands. Keeping in contact even via telephone, video call, periodic visits etc, letters all help and as your child matures and they understand that there is no risk of them forgetting you this worry they have will ease.

Hope this helps, keep strong.