[Solved] Advise please

yep, should still take it to court. you can get other things sorted like getting regular overnight stays with kids, sharing out school holidays. travelling abroad etc.

Question about pets (sorry going off topic)

My wife is, still going in about moving MY pets (she even says they are mine in a letter from her solicitor) As you know I'm still at my parents house and can't have them here. It's my understanding that pets fall under belongings and as such she cant get rid of them as they are still in my home. Is this correct.

hi,

if you can't take pets, do you have friend or family who could? if not then am not sure what more can be done. if she wants to get rid of them she could hand them into animal refuge etc.

I would say (my opinion only) that she would have to give you a reasonable amount of notice to make arrangements for them, and if you haven't done so, then she could probably make arrangements herself, which may well be handing them into a shelter. I don't think you could argue that she has any legal requirement to look after them on your behalf.

Quick question.

Do childcare vouchers deducted from my salary count towards CMS payments.

i don't think so.usually its only pension deductions they look at. you could send CMS a message and see what they tell you.

Hi

I'm not an expert but looked into CMS before I became unemployed.

CMS is based on your gross salary so before Child Care Vouchers are deducted.

If you are asking whether you paying the childcare provider using the child care vouchers can be counted (or deducted from) as part of the CMS that you are required to pay then I believe it does based on the below:

- If you have a private arrangement and can between you agree that they count as part of your monthly payment then you should do this but just ensure that you have the agreement in writing and close any open CMS cases.

- If you are going via CMS or if a case has been opened with CMS then check with them but I don't believe they will recognise the payment itself, what they may do is reduce the amount of your gross salary by the amount of Childcare vouchers that you pay (I believe it is called special expenses) but it is only a small overall reduction and in essence this would be double paying. In this case you would be better off just paying the amount CMS calculate and let your ex worry about paying the childcare provider direct.

The 2nd option generally results in a reduced overall amount for the ex and so I would encourage her to agree to a private arrangement and to close any open cases with CMS.

Thanks

oh yeh. they have a special expenses scheme. so you could ask them if you could claim expense for your childcare vouchers. then that way they may be able to reduce your maintenance payments.

Update.

So I saw my children for the first time in 70 days last Thursday and I'm seeing them tomorrow. Both were so happy to see me. My daughter said to me "daddy, mummy doesn't play with me much, all she does is lay on the sofa on her phone" My daughter is right and I can see that from her phone bill.

How do you guys deal with lies from your ex. I have learnt she has been telling and messaging people that I had been cheating on her and that I have hit her along with other small lies.

The best way to deal with it is to not let it get to you, get on with your own life - believe me, that really will get to your ex more than anything you can say or do, and I speak from considerable personal experience on this. If your ex is communicating with you by text etc, make sure it's only at times when you want (so get a new cheap phone specifically for this purpose, that you only switch on at specific times of day/week) and don't let her control your life. As to what she's been telling everyone - if it was anything other than this, would their opinions really worry you? If not, they they aren't good friends, so let it pass and find better friends. Any friends who really know you should already know that she's talking rubbish.
If you and your ex are both on facebook, I would advise that you severely restrict what she can see on your account, and ideally block her so that she can't see anything, and equally important, you aren't seeing anything on hers, which will give you more peace.

hi cloud,

its great that you started seeing your kids again. please try and ignore the nonsense from your ex. it does get difficult if she starts feeding the kids false information about you. we have to be the better parent and avoid letting the kids get dragged into any parental conflict.

Update.

So I have been seeing my children and I have almost sorted out child arrangements between us until tonight.

So my wife sent me an invoice for the childminder to pay her in advance for 90 days. I questioned this and said I'm not paying in advance I will pay her monthly like I akways have. My wife has now sahd I can't see the children now and will have to go to court as I refuse to pay how she wants me too.