[Solved] Advise please

as you dont have keys to the house anywhere. not a good idea to go knocking. you should reply to solicitor, and state that a 5 min call is not good enough. needs to be more. hopefully she is aware of your c100 hearing. tell them court is going to let you see your kids, so they might aswell be reasonable now and start making arrangements for you to see the kids.

Update.

I had the call with my daughter and she was very confused by it all and kept asking when she can see me and that she loves me. I recorded the call.

Seems like my wife is doing mediation. I should hear next week.

Question about divorce papers. I noticed on the forms I looked at online that you can claim the costs back against your partner. Does this happen a lot.

divorce proceedings take a very long time especially if you own a house together. best to sort child arrangements out 1st though. you will both have to pay costs for divorce proceedings. the cheapest way is to amicably reach an agreements . u want to fight can cost tens of thousands in costs if it goes all the way to end

There are a few steps to divorce proceedings.

First, obtaining a decree nisi. This is straightforward if it is not contested. The person petitioning for divorcing can easily and is usually awarded divorce costs when the divorce is finalised, typically the application fee (a few hundred) and lawyer fees. It's typical for this to be somewhere around £1000 if the divorce is not contested. If she petitioned, you will be asked to pay this. If she petitioned and you resisted, and she got the divorce anyway, you can be asked for her further costs. You can also agree to divide this fee in between you two if you can.

So it's rare that you want to contest this. If she won't agree to divide, I advise going ahead and consenting even if you have to pay the total fee. It's uneconomical to do otherwise. This is provided that the divorce reason is somewhat reasonable (typically some sort of unreasonable behaviour, don't fret about this too much, you can agree to the divorce without agreeing to her reason).

Second, the financial settlement. If there are shared assets to be divided up this can be truly messy. You will either have to agree how you divide it up and draw up a consent order. If you can't agree, then you go fight it out in court and it can cost thousands in lawyer fees + whatever the financial settlement is going to be. If you can consent, it's typically a few weeks. If you can't, it can be months or years. Some people end up paying their assets in lawyer fees and get zilch in the end, and the believe me the lawyers will be all to happy to allow this.

In any case, don't tangle the financial settlement proceedings with the children's proceedings. It can be difficult though if you are relying on the financial settlement to give you some assets with which to apply for housing for the kids. Mention this to the court in the children's proceedings, but insist that you want contact and an order as soon as possible.

Thabks for the reply. I know why wife has used an expensive lawer and the divorce paper hadn't been submitted yet. Would it be better for me to quickly submit my own divorce paper tonight to save me paying my wife's legal fees

As far as I am aware, it's not usual for you to have to pay your wife's legal fees (I think there may be exceptions in very high value divorce settlements) unless someone else can correct this.

Update

Just had my MIAM and my wife is happy to do mediation. I'm not surprised though once the mediator told me how much it would be to go through the court.

Its my sons 1st birthday on Friday so I hope she will let me see him.

So got my court date today. Its in September. I can't wait another 3 months to see my children 🙁

Hi,

Wondering if you could tell me when you made payment in the end? I am waiting for c100 date also but they haven't called me for payment yet.

Thanks in advance and good luck

Hi. I submitted mine on a, Saturday night and they called on a Tuesday for payment. Hope it goes well

Just when I think that my wife might be turning a corner she goes and delays mediation. I can't describe hoe much I dislike her now. I still don't think she has submitted the divorce form either

With regards to the divorce forms. If both parties submit one, would I still have to pay my wife's legal fees, or would they look at who submitted the divorce first and not process the other one.

Bad update:

My mother in law text my mum last night saying that if anyone goes to the house tomorrow she will cal the police. Currently there are no court orders against me. if i went to the house and out my sons presents by the front door and knocked i assume the Police cant do a single thing. I will be recording the whole thing.

hi,

its probably better to avoid going there. she could get a non-molestation order, and that can cause you lot of problems with seeing kids.