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16 month old son in hospital - visiting question

 
(@rko28)
Eminent Member Registered

Hi all, I’ll try to summarise.

my 16 month old son is in hospital after having major surgery. Myself and his mum have split spending time with him, her more than him whilst he’s been in, I have a hotel here for the stay.

today she has said she feels she wants more time with him and said I should think about going home and just visit for an hour or 2 per day. Said that she wants to spend time with him and she has family visiting over the weekend.

Her mother is also with her and the pair of them are thick as thieves.

 

This evening she said she was having an early night and putting him down early and said I could go to hotel, this was ok, he was settled after a long day.

however I then bumped into her and her boyfriend in a takeaway, I asked who was with my son and she said her mother. The pair of them were red as bettroot.

I don’t know how to tackle this, I don’t want to cause aggro but I’m really angry about how she’s behaving, almost like what she wants is paramount and that I have no feelings for our son.

coparenting has actually been ok with her up to now, no massive drama but I’m so cross she’s dictating when I can see my boy in hospital and by looks of it letting her boyfriend come and see him.

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 25/07/2024 8:44 pm
(@bill337)
Illustrious Member

hi,

how long is son expected to remain im hospital? perhaps after he is discharge, see how arrangements go. if its not working you can try mediation.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 27/07/2024 11:22 am
(@williamcooper)
Active Member Registered

I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. It sounds incredibly challenging, especially with your son in the hospital. It's essential to approach this situation calmly and focus on what’s best for your son. Here are a few steps you might consider:

  1. Calm Conversation: When you feel ready, have a calm and honest conversation with your ex-partner. Express your feelings without accusing her, and emphasize that your main concern is your son's well-being.

  2. Set Boundaries: Discuss and agree on a fair schedule that allows both of you to spend adequate time with your son, especially while he’s in the hospital. It’s important that both parents feel involved and that the child feels supported by both of you.

  3. Third-Party Mediation: If the conversation becomes too difficult, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a mediator or counselor, to help facilitate a productive discussion and find a workable solution for both of you.

  4. Legal Advice: If necessary, seek legal advice to understand your rights and ensure that any agreements made are in the best interest of your child.

  5. Stay Focused on Your Son: Always bring the focus back to your son's needs. Ensure that any decisions made are in his best interest, providing him with a stable and loving environment during this tough time.

Balancing emotions and co-parenting responsibilities is tough, especially under such stressful circumstances. Take care of yourself and ensure you also have support during this time.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 29/07/2024 10:08 am
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