Between bedtime reading, after-school club pick-ups and putting food on the table, many of us dads lead busy lives, and adding dating on top of everything else can be overwhelming. That’s why it’s so important to make sure you’re taking care of your wellbeing so that you can enjoy dating without ending up in the burnout zone!
Here are four top tips for avoiding dating burnout:
1. REMEMBER THAT IT’S QUALITY NOT QUANTITY
We’re big believers in putting yourself out there to maximise your chances of meeting the right person. At the same time, if you start to spend hours a day messaging people online or you organise too many dates in the same week, dating burnout is inevitable. Give yourself a realistic time frame dedicated to your love life. This could be spending 20 minutes a day online or scheduling 1 or 2 dates a week – whatever works best for you and your lifestyle. That way you’ll be more present when messaging and going on dates, making the whole experience more relaxing and much more fun!
2. PUT YOURSELF FIRST
If you neglect your own needs you won’t have the energy that you need to have good dates. To feel at your best, you need to make sure that you’re taking time out just for you. This could be focusing on your health by eating well and exercising regularly, doing those things that you love and make you happy, or setting aside time for pure relaxation. The more you fill yourself up in these ways, the better you’ll feel on dates.
3. BE AWARE OF YOUR MINDSET
Your mindset is central to having a successful love life, as well as improving your sense of wellbeing in a radical way. I really recommend regularly checking in with yourself to see what you’re telling yourself about dating and what you envisage in a future partner and relationship? Are you telling yourself that dating is a hassle, that it’s something you ‘should’ do, and that you can’t really imagine meeting anyone you like who likes you? Or is your mindset one of abundance, hope and excitement? Your experiences are a reflection of what’s going on in your mind. Once you adopt a more positive attitude towards dating, you’ll soon notice the difference.
4. DON’T BE OUTCOME DEPENDENT
Fixating on one end goal is a sure-fire shortcut to dating burnout. While knowing you want a relationship and pursuing that goal is great, if you’re too attached to dates having a certain outcome, you won’t be present on those dates. Instead of looking as the date as an experience and an opportunity to meet someone new, you’re already thinking 10 steps ahead. You end up analysing whether you think that person is relationship material before you’ve even had a chance to get to know them.
It is possible to balance knowing what you want with being open to going with the flow, having fun, and enjoying the journey of getting to know someone. When you can let go of being outcome dependent, that’s when your authentic personality will shine through – you’ll be more relaxed and more likely to find the relationship you want.
Remember, dating should be fun. It’s so important to take care of yourself to get the most out of it. So, if you’re feeling like you’re getting burnt out, there’s nothing wrong with taking some time out to figure out how you can enjoy the experience without compromising your own health, happiness and wellbeing.
DIDN’T FIND WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR?
Don’t worry, we have lots more information, advice and guidance to help:
Check out popular relationship topics here.
Visit the relationship section of our forum, used by over 30,000 dads where you can ask questions of other dads, anonymously if you like. You’ll probably come across someone who has been in your shoes but a little further on in the journey to be able to offer you support.
