How am I going to survive with my kids until an 8pm kick off in the Euro 2020 Final at Wembley? I need a plan to stop us bouncing off the walls! Here is how I am going to spend Sunday, waiting for football to come home…
6.30 am – My kids wake up! I’ll send them out into the garden for a kickabout (it’s all about the footie right!).
7.30 am – Peel myself out of my bed, remember today is the BIG day! Get crazy excited that football’s coming home and then accept that the day doesn’t really start till I’ve had my coffee. I’ll get the kids to make some England bunting and flags… a fight might break out over the red pen, but at least it will give me time until…
8.00 am – I get the kids dressed in a random selection of retro-England kits, dating from 1992 (when Denmark won) so that we are ready for…
9.00 am – 5-aside at the Park. Grab the neighbours, and their kids, take granny and a football. It is 5-aside time.
11.30 am – Half-time Orange, the traditional half time snack for amateur footy fans, packed with easy to digest carbs, sugars and vitamin C, they’ll provide the necessary energy for…
12 noon – a footie related challenge. Depending on your kid’s age get them to write an alphabetical list of the competitors, or task them to name the capital cities of each nation, or play guess the flags. Suitable prizes would be football rattles or even a Vuvusela if your ears can bear it…
12.30 pm – and lunch… definitely time for an Italian, whether it is pizza or pasta or tiramisu let’s ritually eat the opposition (and enjoy it).
1.30pm – time to finally learn the lyrics to the National Anthem, Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond, and (while we are in the mood) we might actually work out what the lyrics are to Three Lions:
It’s coming home, It’s coming home, It’s coming, Football’s coming home
(repeat and then…)
Everyone seems to know the score, They’ve seen it all before, They just know, They’re so sure
That England’s gonna throw it away, Gonna blow it away, But I know they can play, ‘Cause I remember
Three Lions on a shirt, Jules Rimet* still gleaming, Thirty years of hurt, Never stopped me dreaming
So many jokes, so many sneers, But all those oh-so-nears, Wear you down, Through the years
But I still see that tackle by Moore, And when Lineker scored, Bobby belting the ball, And Nobby** dancing…
(Baddiel and Skinner)
*by the way Jules Rimet is the old 1966 world cup
** and Nobby is Nobby Styles
2.00 pm – Today isn’t just about football coming home. We’ll also be tuning in for Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic flight streamed live on Youtube. On Sunday, the SpaceShipTwo plane, called VSS Unity, is set to carry the company’s first full crew (and Richard Branson) more than 50 miles above the Earth. Good luck to the Virgin Galactic Space Team.
3.30pm – Excitement has hit fever pitch, and we are covering the house in our DIY bunting.
4pm – We can’t hold out any longer. Our kids have got hold of the facepaint. They are covered. We are covered. And it is still only…
5pm – To fill some more time, we’ve grabbed fish and chips from the corner, so no one is cooking tonight…
6.30pm – We are flicking between ITV and BBC to see who kicks off coverage first. I change the under-8s in my house into their pyjamas figuring this match might go all the way and they might as well be ready for bed… no chance of an early night tonight (guess their teachers will understand tomorrow) and…
7pm – I’m exhausted, I promise the kids if they will just play Top Trumps for 20 minutes I’ll make them popcorn for the kickoff…
7.15pm – They have now asked “when is Kick-of” 400,000 times….
7.30pm – I have now said “don’t kick that ball inside” 20,000,000 times…
7.55pm – My Mum calls (who has no interest in football) and asks if NOW is a good time to chat…
8pm … and relax… or rather… panic… come on Harry, please for the sake of all us parents, bring it home.
